ALONGSIDE THE RIVER, A POEM BY VESNA PARUN (TRANSLATION AND TRAVEL POST)

 Hello! In this post, we'll mix Croatian poetry with travelling. Isn't poetry a way of travelling into our soul anyway? So, we might as well do some soul travel with real one? Today I will not only review one of Vesna Parun's poems, I will also translate it to English, so that you all can enjoy it. I've translated Vesna Parun's poetry on my blog before and I will do it again in the future. Not that Vesna's poems haven't been translated in English. There is at least one edition that I know of containing her selected poems. However, since I've actually studied translation and literature, why not give it a go myself? 

Zdravo! U ovom postu pomiješat ćemo hrvatsku poeziju s putovanjima. Nije li poezija zapravo način putovanja u našu dušu? Dakle, mogli bismo putovanje duše uskladiti s pravim putovanjem? Danas neću samo napisati ogled pjesme Vesne Parun, već ću je prevesti i na engleski, tako da mnogi mogu uživati u njoj. Poeziju Vesne Parun već sam prevodila na svom blogu i to ću učiniti opet u budućnosti. Nije da Vesnine pjesme nisu prevedene na engleski. Postoji barem jedno izdanje  (poveznica u engleskom dijelu teksta) za koje znam da sadrži njezine odabrane pjesme. Međutim, budući da sam studirala jezik ( pa time prevođenje) i književnost, zašto ne bih i sam pokušala?


                   Dark treetops of centuries are mirrored in the water.

                     Mračne krošnje stoljeća u vodi se zrcale.




Vesna Parun remains one of my favourite Croatian poetesses. Her poetry is truly one of a kind. When I came across this poem in a book (that I borrowed from the library last Summer and still haven't returned because I just couldn't stop reading her poetry), I knew that I had to translate and post it. The next question was the location photography. What location in Croatia would be a good pairing for this poem that talks of river but also mentions sea? Well, the town of Omis presented itself as a perfect choice.  It's a breathing-taking town where the canon of river Cetina flows into the Adriatic sea. Moreover, it has two types of trees that are mentioned in the poem: poplars and willows. 

 I had some photographs from the last year that I haven't posted yet so I decided to use them to make collages. This Omis stop was quite meaningful to me. We stopped there in late October after a short visit to a wife of our friend that passed away. I also had in mind another person that died last year. So, with all that loss in mind at that particular moment, I was trying to find some solace and hope. I did leave Omis feeling much better. The beauty must have inspired me! I think this poem really captures that, because it evokes both death and rebirth. Maybe I will focus more on Omis in my next post (until then here are my older posts about Omis 1 / 2 /3 /4 /), but this one will be more about poetry.  Let's begin! Scroll down to read the poem!

Vesna Parun ostaje jedna od mojih najdražih hrvatskih pjesnikinja. Njezina je poezija doista jedinstvena. Kad sam naišla na ovu pjesmu u knjizi (koju sam prošlog ljeta posudila u knjižnici i još je nisam vratila jer jednostavno nisam mogla prestati čitati njezinu poeziju), znala sam da je moram prevesti i objaviti. Sljedeće pitanje bilo je fotografiranje lokacije. Koja bi lokacija u Hrvatskoj bila dobar izbor za ovu pjesmu koja govori o rijeci, ali spominje i more? Pa grad Omiš predstavio se kao savršen izbor. To je grad koji oduzima dah gdje se kanonska rijeka Cetina ulijeva u Jadransko more. Štoviše, u njemu možemo pronaći dvije vrste drveća koje se spominju u pjesmi: jablani i vrbe.

Imala sam neke fotografije od prošle godine koje nisam objavila pa sam ih odlučila iskoristiti. Uz to, ovaj kratki posjet Omišu je bio značajan jer sam njime na neki način odala počast preminulim osobama. Njegova ljepota me nadahnula i svakako planiram još pisati o Omišu (1 / 2 /3 //), ali danas je naglasak na poeziji Vesne Parun tako da nastavite čitati.



TRANSLATION OF VESNA PARUN'S POEM 'KRAJ RIJEKE' - THE FINAL VERSION

I translated this poem, not once but four times. The final version is a sort of mixture of three versions. Mind you, these three versions are all final versions. There were a lot of drafts that didn't make the cut. Translating poetry is an art of sorts. There's so much to consider.  It is also very time-consuming. Translating this little  poem took me many hours spent in complementation.

Along the River


I'm walking along the dam. Sedge halts me

with the voices of birds that'd migrated.

Autumn alongside river is full of ancient rustling long

lost, originating neither from the reeds

nor the water, nor the strayed trout.

 

The river is unfaithful. It washes away desires

that you'd whispered into the ear of sand in a faint.

It forgets the prows of black vessels.

A cloudburst, when the river spilled from its streambed,

faded away from its memory.

 

Hey, Tatar horses crossed this river!

From their skeletons, the time uncaringly

 made a museum. Three poplars in front of an entrance.

Dark treetops of centuries are mirrored in the water.

And the water flows, thinking of the longing of wild ducks

in Spring, a thousand times sprung.

 

Spring of growing fish scales.

 

Hail water trembling from the freezing cold, awakening from the cracked

                                                                                                                          walls of ice

do you hear the piercing voices of seagulls?

They are calling to you so you'd be friends.

Oh, you migrations that are repeating yourself.

instincts that make the river evaporate,

nude and dark, laid out under the willows.

Spring of growing fish scales. 








TRANSLATION ATTEMPT NUMBER 1

Next to a River


Along the dam I walk. Sedge pauses me

with the voice of birds that have migrated.

Autumn by the river is filled with rustling long

lost, that is not coming from the reeds

neither from the water, nor the strayed trout.

 

The river is unfaithful. It washes away desires

that you've whispered unconscious into the ear of sand.

It forgets the prows of black boats.

Cloudburst, when it spilled from its streambed,

faded away from its memory.

 

Hey, Tatar horses crossed over this river!

From their skeletons, the uncaring time

 made a museum. Three poplars in front of an entrance.

Dark treetops of centuries are mirrored in the water.

And the water flows, thinking of the longing of wild ducks

During the thousand times sprung Spring.

 

Spring of growing fish scales.

 

Hey water trembling from the freezing cold, awakening from the broken

                                                                                                                          walls of ice

do you hear the shrill voices of seagulls?

They are calling to you to be friends.

Oh, the migrations that are repeating itself.

instincts that make the river evaporate,

naked and dark, laid out under the willows.

Spring of growing fish scales. 




TRANSLATION ATTEMPT NUMBER 2

By the River


Along the embankment I go. Sedge stops me

with the voices of birds that have moved away.

Autumn by the river is full of ancient whispers long

lost, that are coming neither from the reeds

nor the water, nor the lost trout.

 

The river is disloyal. It cleans out wishes

you'd whispered into the ear of sand in a faint.

It forgets the prows of black boats.

A rainstorm, when it spilled out from its streambed,

faded in its remembrance.

 

Hey, Tatar horses'd passed over this river!

From their skeletons, the time had indifferently

constructed a museum. Three poplars in front of an entrance.

Dark treetops of centuries are reflected in the water.

But the water flows, thinking of the longing of wild ducks

During the thousand times reappeared Spring.

 

Spring made of growing fish scales.

 

Hail water, shuddering from the chill, awakening from the cracked

                                                                                                                           ice walls

do you hear the shrill voices of seagulls?

They are calling to you to be your friends.

Oh, hail migrations repeating themselves.

instincts that make the river smoke,

naked and dark, sprayed out under the willows.

Spring made of growing fish scales. 







TRANSLATION ATTEMPT NUMBER 3

Alongside River

Along the embankment I'm going. Sedge stops me 
with the call of birds that had relocated.
Autumn alongside river is full of rustling since antiquity
lost, neither from reeds
nor from the water, nor from lost trout.

River is false. It washes out cravings 
you'd in a faint whispered into the ear of sand 
Prows of the black vessels it forgets.
Cloudburst, when it spilled out from streambed,
faded in its memory. 

Hey,  Tatar horses trotted over this river!
Time uncaringly built a museum
from their bones. Three poplars in front of an entrance.
Dusky treetops of centuries are mirrored in the water.
And it flows, contemplating the yearning of wild ducks
in a thousand times materialized Spring. 

Spring from the maturing fish scales.  
Hail water, shuddering from the cold, awakening from the cracked
                                                                                                       walls of ice 
hear you the seagulls' piercing calls? 
They are calling to you for they want to be your friends.
 Oh, you migrations repeating yourself. 
Instincts that make the river smoke,
nude and dusty, sprayed out under the willows.
 Spring from the maturing fish scales. 







VESNA PARUN POSTS 1 2 3 4

KRAJ RIJEKE                

                                                                   

Duž nasipa idem. Šaš zaustavlja me                                         

glasom ptica što odselile su.

Jesen uz rijeku puna je šumova od davnine

izgubljenih, što nisu od trstike

ni od vode ni od zalutalih pastrva.

 

Rijeka je nevjerna. Ona ispire želje

koje u uhu pijeska šapnuste u nesvjestici.

Pramce lađa crnih zaboravlja.

Prolom oblaka, kad se iz korita razlila,

u njenom je pamćenju izblijedio.

 

Hej, konji tatarski ovu su rijeku pregazili!

Od njihovih kostura vrijeme je nehajno

napravilo muzej.  Tri jablana pred ulazom.

Mračne krošnje stoljeća u vodi se zrcale.

A ona teče, misleći na čežnju divljih pataka

u tisuću puta banulo proljeće.

 

Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba.

 

Vodo koja dršćeš od studeni, budeć se iz raspuklih

                                                                   zidova leda

čuješ li reske glasove galebova morskih?

Oni te zovu da bi drugovali s tobom.

O seobe koje se ponavljate.

Nagoni od kojih se rijeka puši

gola i tamna, pod vrbama prostrta.

Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba.










KRAJ RIJEKE                

                                                                   

Duž nasipa idem. Šaš zaustavlja me                                         

glasom ptica što odselile su.

Jesen uz rijeku puna je šumova od davnine

izgubljenih, što nisu od trstike

ni od vode ni od zalutalih pastrva.

 

Rijeka je nevjerna. Ona ispire želje

koje u uhu pijeska šapnuste u nesvjestici.

Pramce lađa crnih zaboravlja.

Prolom oblaka, kad se iz korita razlila,

u njenom je pamćenju izblijedio.

 

Hej, konji tatarski ovu su rijeku pregazili!

Od njihovih kostura vrijeme je nehajno

napravilo muzej.  Tri jablana pred ulazom.

Mračne krošnje stoljeća u vodi se zrcale.

A ona teče, misleći na čežnju divljih pataka

u tisuću puta banulo proljeće.

 

Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba.

 

Vodo koja dršćeš od studeni, budeć se iz raspuklih

                                                                   zidova leda

čuješ li reske glasove galebova morskih?

Oni te zovu da bi drugovali s tobom.

O seobe koje se ponavljate.

Nagoni od kojih se rijeka puši

gola i tamna, pod vrbama prostrta.

Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba.






INTEPRETATION OF THE POEM 


Vesna Parun's poem Along the River is written in the first person. Readers of Vesna Parun can assume that it is about the poetess herself. Vesna Parun often writes in the first person. Her poetry is mostly intimate, emotional and spiritual. The first verse reveals the location of the lyrical narrator i.e. the person speaking to us through the poem. Your personal interpretation may or may not experience the narrator as a poet herself. In any case, we have a picture of a person walking along an embankment. The very title of the song tells us that it is about the embankment of the river. A river can have many symbolic meanings, which do not have to exclude the literal one. Reading the poem, we can imagine a person by the river, and we can see beyond that poetic image and look for additional meanings. 

Along the River


I'm walking along the dam. Sedge halts me

with the voices of birds that'd migrated.

Autumn alongside river is full of ancient rustling long

lost, originating neither from the reeds

nor the water, nor the strayed trout.


The river as a symbol of life is a word poignant with meaning, visually and interpretatively rich. That word, which is not static, like water itself, like language itself, is the perfect starting point for this poem. We can see this not only by analysing the noun "river" itself, which has many metaphorical meanings in the Croatian language, but also by looking at the poetic work of Vesna Parun, in which the noun "river" appears quite often. 

Furthermore, in the Croatian language, the noun river is feminine, which is not insignificant considering how personal Vesna Parun's poetry is. Her poetry is the poetry of a woman, her experiences are the experiences of a woman. One can certainly read the meanings and connections between female psychology and identity. A woman brings life into the world, just like mother nature, she is the one who enables the rebirth of life. Of course, everyone can read this poem in their own way, put themselves in the position of narrator and poetic voice, but the female identity and perspective in the context of the interpretation of the poem should not be ignored. 

The first verse consists of one finished and one started sentence. The first sentence is short, it takes us to the place of action, omitting the pronoun and ending with the verb.  The choice of verb itself is interesting. It can refer to movement, but also to direction and intention. 'I'm going there',  it can mean that we plan to go in that direction, and it can also mean that we are already on our way. The Croatian language uses the present tense for both options. However, the very combination of the name and the first sentence in the verse gives the impression that the lyrical narrator is already there. It is clear which embankment we are talking about according to the title, and it is not necessary to add that it is a river embankment. In the same verse we have another poetic image. The personification of sedge brings us into contact with nature.

 Sedge is placed first in the sentence and becomes the subject. It is sedge who stops the lyrical narrator. The sentence does not end there, but is transferred to the next verse. How does the sedge stop the poetess, our lyrical storyteller? It stops her not with what we would expect, i.e. with his material form (by that I mean that  sedge can be dense and as such stop our movement) but with voices. Sedge stops her with the voice of birds. Again, it is expected to assume that it is about birds in the sedge, but here comes the surprise because it is about the voice of birds that have moved away. What does the poet mean by saying that the birds have moved away? How come they don't live there? Or simply how did they migrate? 

 

The river is unfaithful. It washes away desires

that you'd whispered into the ear of sand in a faint.

It forgets the prows of black vessels.

A cloudburst, when the river spilled from its streambed,

faded away from its memory.


The second stanza begins with a short three-word sentence describing the river as unfaithful. That first verse continues through the second sentence which says that the river washes away the wishes that we have whispered. In this second verse of the second stanza, the poet, that is, the lyrical narrator, addresses us as readers directly. She claims- 'you'd whispered'. Considering that Croatian uses this verb form both for singular and plural of the second person, she might be addressing all the readers or us specifically. '  How do we whisper those wishes? Vesna says  we do it unconsciously- in a faint. What does that mean? How are we not aware when we whisper wishes? How do we even whisper them? Where do we direct them? Vesna says we whisper into the ear of sand. What does that mean? What is an ear of sand? Is it in the river? How does the river wash away our desires? Is that what a river does when it washes away an ear of sand? What do these metaphors refer to? The poet again encourages the reader to question. What are our desires? Are they always aware?  Aren't they often unconscious? Secret? Aren't wishes really sometimes just a whisper in the ear of the sand washed by the river?


 

Hey, Tatar horses crossed this river!

From their skeletons, the time uncaringly

 made a museum. Three poplars in front of an entrance.

Dark treetops of centuries are mirrored in the water.

And the water flows, thinking of the longing of wild ducks

in Spring, a thousand times sprung.

 

Spring of growing fish scales.

 The third stanza begins with an exclamatory sentence. All sentences so far have been declarative. We observe he use of the exclamation "Hey" as an introduction to the sentence that informs us that the Tartar horses crossed this river. The demonstrative pronoun emphasizes that it is about this particular river. Why are the horses in question specifically Tatar? The next poetic image is a bit dark, it mentions the skeletons of horses that time had carelessly turned into a museum. Again, the second sentence continues into the third verse. A short sentence in the third verse gives a poetic image of three poplar trees in front of the entrance. The next verse brings a picture of dark treetops reflected in the water. The poet tells us about the dark crowns of the century. Again we have the invocation of ancient motifs. Centuries allude to ancient times. Mentioning of time, museums and bones reminds us of death. On the other hand, water reminds us of new birth. Water is life and movement. In the next sentence water becomes the subject, it is said that it flows thinking of the longing of wild ducks. So we have the personification of water, it becomes a thinking creature. What is this longing like, when it happens? The poems answers us in a thousand times sprung Spring. Therefore, we see that it is all about spring longing. Is it a longing for life? Does this longing for spring symbolize life itself, which always repeats itself and recovers. Does Spring symbolize never-ending and eternal natural movement and change?

Hey water trembling from the freezing cold, awakening from the cracked

                                                                                                                          walls of ice

do you hear the piercing voices of seagulls?

They are calling to you so you'd be friends.

Oh, you migrations that are repeating yourself.

instincts that make the river evaporate,

nude and dark, laid out under the willows.

Spring of growing fish scales. 



The poet then addresses the water itself with a question. What does the lyrical subject/poetess ask the water? She asks her if the water hears the voices of seagulls. Again we have a connection with creatures of air, but this time with seagulls. The lyrical narrator says that the seagulls call to the water in order to make friends with it. Seagulls are birds that live both by the sea and by the water. Here we see the connection of water and the sea, two strong symbols in Vesna's poetry collection. In Croatian version, it's stressed that the gulls in questions are those living by the sea. So, they are seagulls. Then, in the fifth and last verse, the poet talks about repeated migrations, which we can connect with birth and the circle of life, but also with other thoughts and metaphors. 

The richness of poetry is precisely in its multiplicity and interpretation. The lyrical subject addresses the migrations in the vocative case, but in a declarative sentence, and we can imagine how the intonation is calm, perhaps even wistful. The urges that make the river smoke are mentioned, which again we can connect with natural forces, rebirth and life. The water is described as naked and dark under the spreading willows, and we can also imagine it as something mystical or at least mysterious. As the final verse and sentence we have the repetition of the motif of spring from the growing fish scales. The poem ends with a repetition that perhaps connects all the poetic images. In any case, the poetic images are strong and impressive. The poet not only encourages thinking and questioning, but also leaves a strong impression. It is a successful and beautiful poetic achievement.

















INTEPRETACIJA PJESME KRAJ RIJEKE

Pjesma Vesne Parun Kraj rijeke napisana je u prvom licu. Čitatelji Vesne Parun mogu pretpostaviti da se radi o samoj pjesnikinji. Vesna Parun često piše u prvom licu. Njena poezija je ponajviše intimna, emotivna  i duhovna.  Prvi stih nam otkriva gdje se nalazi osoba koja nam se obraća kroz pjesmu. Vaša osobna interpretacija može je i ne mora doživjeti kao samu pjesnikinju.  U svakom slučaju imamo sliku osobe koje hoda uzduž nasipa. Sam naslov pjesme nam otkriva da se radi o nasipu rijeke. 

Rijeka može imati brojna simbolična značenja, koja ne moraju isključivati ono doslovno. Čitajući pjesmu, možemo zamisliti osobu kraj rijeke, a možemo vidjeti i onkraj te pjesničke slike i tražiti dodatna značenja. Rijeka kao simbol života je riječ nabijena značenjem, vizualno i interpretativno bogata.  Ta riječ koja nije statična, kao i sama voda, kao i sam jezik, savršeno je polazište za ovu pjesmu. To možemo vidjeti ne samo analizom same imenice „rijeka“ koja u hrvatskom jeziku ima brojna metaforička značenja, već i uvidom u pjesnički opus Vesne Parun u kojem se imenica „rijeka“ pojavljuje dosta često. Nadalje u hrvatskom jeziku je imenica rijeka ženskog roda, što nije beznačajno uzimajući u obzir koliko je osobna poezija Vesne Parun. Njezina poezija je poezija žene, njena iskustva su iskustva žene. Svakako se može iščitavati značenja i poveznice između ženske psihologije i identiteta. Žena donosi život na svijet, kao i majka priroda, ona je ta koja omogućava ponovo rađanje života. Naravno da  svatko može čitati ovu pjesmu na svoj način, postaviti se u poziciju pripovjedača i pjesničkog glasa, ali ženski identitet i perspektivu u kontekstu interpretacije pjesme ne treba zanemariti. 

Prvi stih se sastoji od jedne završene i jedne započete rečenice. Prva rečenica je kratka, odvodi nas na mjesto radnje, izostavljajući zamjenicu i završavajući sa glagolom „idem“. Sam izbor glagola je zanimljiv. On se može odnositi na kretanje, ali također i na smjer i namjeru. Idem tamo tako može značiti da planiramo ići u tom smjeru, a može značiti i da smo već na putu. Hrvatski jezik koristi prezent za obje opcije. No, sama kombinacija naziva i prve rečenice u stihu ostavlja dojam da je lirski pripovjedač ili pripovjedačica već tamo. Jasno je o kojem se nasipu radi prema naslove te nije potrebno dodati kako se radi o nasipu rijeke. 

U istom stihu imamo drugu pjesničku sliku. Personifikacija šaša dovodi nas u vezu s prirodom. Šaš se stavlja na prvo mjesto u rečenici te postaje subjekt. Šaš je taj koji zaustavlja lirsku pripovjedačicu. Rečenica tu ne završava već se prenosi u idući stih. Čime šaš zaustavlja pjesnikinju, našu lirsku pripovjedačicu? Zaustavlja je ne onim čime bismo očekivali, svojim materijalnim postojanjem. Šaš može biti gust i kao takav zaustaviti naše kretanje. No, ovdje se radi o nečem drugom. Šaš je zaustavlja glasom ptica. Opet očekivano je pretpostaviti kako se radi o pticama u šašu, ali tu dolazi iznenađenje jer se radi o glasu ptica koje su odselile. Što pjesnikinja želi reći time da su ptice odselile? Kako tu ne žive? Ili jednostavno kako su migrirale? U hrvatskom jeziku ptica selica je čest izraz koji izražava vrste ptica koje prirodno migriraju. No, iako često za ptice kažemo da su selice, kažemo li doista da su odselile? Izraz odseliti koristimo više za ljude. Koristeći taj izraz, Vesna Parun stvara dojam začudnosti. Govori li o pticama selicama ili o pticama koje su odselile trajno iz nekih drugih i ne sasvim prirodnih razloga. Druga rečenica završava, a sa njom i drugi stih. Druga rečenica u pjesmi započinje u prvom stihu i završava u drugom. Već tu možemo postaviti niz pitanja.





 Kako lirski pripovjedač ili pripovjedačica može osjetiti glas ptica koji više nije tu? Kako ga šaš može prenijeti? O čemu se tu zapravo radi? Možemo reći kako nas je zaustavila neka prepreka bez da je personaliziramo. U hrvatskom jeziku ne koristimo često pasiv pa je prirodno reći kako nas je nešto ili netko zaustavio, nekakva prepreka ili nešto slično. To činimo bez da nužno personificiramo tu prepreku, biće ili stvar. No, ovdje se ipak radi o personifikaciji jer šaš dobiva glas. On zaustavlja glasom. Glasom koji možda ne pripada njemu, ali on ga ipak ima. Šaš prenosi glas ptica i to ne bilo kakvih ptica nego onih odsutnih. Nije točno jasno kako to radi, možda se radi tek o tome da on lirski subjekt podsjeća na nešto ili dovodi u vezu sa tim. Svejedno, neki oblik personifikacije postoji te čini se ide ruku pod ruku s efektom začudnosti.  Sljedeća rečenica spominje godišnje doba uz rijeku  pa ga u neku ruku i opisuje. Je se misli na jesen u tom trenutku, govori li nam da je jesen dok je on ili on tu, ili je to tek općenita konstatacija lirskog subjekta nije sasvim jasno, iako se može pretpostaviti kako je ipak jesen. Spominjanje šumova može se vezati uz šaš. Šaš šumi kada vjetar puše. Je li to ono na što se aludira? Nemoguće je znati, ali može se napraviti ta poveznica. Jesen uz rijeku je uvod u treći stih i rečenicu koja završava u idućem stihu.

 Kakva je jesen? Jesen se opisuje kao puna šumova od davnina. Ponovo to možemo, a i ne moramo, povezati s prijašnjim stihom koji je aludirao na glas ptica koje više nisu tu. Četvrti stih nastavlja se na treći te je dio iste rečenice. Šumovi od davnina su izgubljeni, saznajemo. Što to točno znači možemo se upitati kao čitatelji. Jesu li davni šumovi izgubljeni ili su šumovi od davnine izgubljeni? Znači li to jedno to isto? Možda i ne mora značiti isto. Možda može značiti da su šumovi od davnine (davni šumovi) izgubljeni bez da znamo kada su izgubljeni. S druge strane može značiti da su šumovi davno izgubljeni to jest da su ti šumovi izgubljeni već dugo vremena (kakvi god bili). Kakvi su ti šumovi? Prije nego što četvrti stih završi, saznajemo da šumovi od davne nisu od trstike, a zatim u petom stihu saznajemo da nisu ni od vode ni od zalutalih pastrva. Tom informacijom se zaključuje posljednja rečenica u strofi. 

Šumovi su naznačeni i lokalizirani u šumu u trećoj strofi te se peta strofa i četvrta rečenica završava negacijom njihovih potencijalnih izvora.  Od čega su onda ti šumovi? Ako su izgubljeni od davnine, zašto je tomu tako? Jesu li ti šumovi nešto što svi mogu čuti? Objasnivši da šumovi od davnina ne dolaze od izvora koje bismo mogli pretpostaviti (trstike, vode, pastrva), lirski subjekt potiče nas na propitivanje. Lirska pripovjedačica isključuje biljke (trstiku), prirodni element (vodu) i životinje (pastvu i ptice).  Ipak šuma je puna tog šuma. S tom slikom i s tim pitanjima nas pjesnikinja ostavlja te završava prvu strofu. Možda su šumovi dio same šume ili neke dublje stvarnosti? Nešto što nema svoj izvor, početak i kraj?

 KRAJ RIJEKE                

                                                                   

Duž nasipa idem. Šaš zaustavlja me                                         

glasom ptica što odselile su.

Jesen uz rijeku puna je šumova od davnine

izgubljenih, što nisu od trstike

ni od vode ni od zalutalih pastrva.

 

Druga strofa počinje kratkom rečenicom koja se sastoji od tri riječi i opisuje rijeku kao nevjernu. Taj prvi stih se nastavlja kroz drugu rečenicu koja kaže kako rijeka ispire želje koje smo mi šapnuli. U ovom drugom stihu druge strofa pjesnikinja to jest lirski pripovjedač / pripovjedačica nam se direktno obraća. Ona tvrdi kako vi 'šapnuste'. Može se raditi o obraćanju u množini svim čitateljima ili kao korištenju pristojnog obraćanja jednoj osobi u množini. Kako mi šapnusmo te želje? Vesna kaže u nesvjestici. Što to znači? Kako nismo svjesni kada šapćemo želje? Kako ih uopće šapćemo? Vesna kaže u uho pijeska. Što to znači? Što je uho pijeska? Nalazi li se u rijeci? Kako rijeka ispire naše želje? Čini li to rijeka kada ispire uho pijeska? Na što se te metafore odnose? Pjesnikinja opet potiče čitatelja na propitivanje. Kakve su naše želje? Jesu li uvijek svjesne? Nisu li želje doista ponekad tek šapat u uho pijeska koje ispire rijeka?

Rijeka je nevjerna. Ona ispire želje

koje u uhu pijeska šapnuste u nesvjestici.

Pramce lađa crnih zaboravlja.

Prolom oblaka, kad se iz korita razlila,

u njenom je pamćenju izblijedio.


Možemo vidjeti da prva i druga strofa koriste istu strukturu. Obje strofe počinju sa kratkom rečenicom od tri riječi.  U prvoj strofi se zatim uvodi druga rečenica koja se nastavlja u drugoj strofi i tu i završava. Uz to, prva i druga strofa imaju obje pet stihova. Što se događa u trećoj strofi? Započinje nova rečenica. Za razliku od prve strofe u kojoj se treći stih nastavlja u četvrti rečenicom, ovdje treći stih počinje i završava jednom rečenicom. Ponekad se rečenice prenose u novi stih, a ponekad ne. Treći stih i rečenica sastoji se od kratke rečenice koja se odnosi na rijeku iako se sama rijeka ne spominje. Treći stih donosi nam pjesničku sliku crnih brodova. Vesna nam govori kako rijeka pramce crnih lađa zaboravlja. Što su crne lađe? Zašto ih rijeka zaboravlja? Što to znači da zaboravlja pramce crnih lađa? Jesu li crne lađe simbol smrti ili propadanja? Jesu li pramci crnih lađa simbol teških godina koje dolaze? Želi li nam reći kako rijeka zaboravlja propadanje? Kako rijeka zaboravlja dolazak teških godina? Možda i to kako rijeka sve zaboravlja. Zaborav što to točno znači? Izgubljena sjećanja? U prvoj strofi imamo aluziju na izgubljene šumove davnina ili na šumove koji su davno izgubljeni, a sada u drugoj strofi saznajemo kako je rijeka zaboravna i nevjerna. Simbolizira li rijeka priroda koja se uvijek rađa iznova? Koja donosi život, ali i smrt i propadanje? Idući stih počinje novim rečenicom. Prolom oblaka se spominje i kada se iz korita razlila? Je li to aluzija na rađanje rijeke? Je li rijeka rođena kroz prolom oblaka, koji je za posljedicu imao to da se rijeka razlika iz korita? Odgovor na to pitanje ne saznajemo, ali idući stih donosi zaključak rečenice koji nam kaže kako je sve to izblijedilo u sjećanju rijeku. Prolom oblaka je izblijedio u sjećanju rijeke. Time se završava druga strofa koja se kao i prva sastoji od pet strofa. No, za razliku od prve strofe sastoji se od četiri, a ne tri rečenice. 

Hej, konji tatarski ovu su rijeku pregazili!

Od njihovih kostura vrijeme je nehajno

napravilo muzej.  Tri jablana pred ulazom.

Mračne krošnje stoljeća u vodi se zrcale.

A ona teče, misleći na čežnju divljih pataka

u tisuću puta banulo proljeće.

 

Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba.


Treća strofa počinje uskličnom rečenicom. Sve rečenice dosada su bile izjavne. Ponovo imamo izravno obraćenje, korištenje uzvika „Hej“ kao uvoda u rečenicu u kojoj nas obavještava kako su tatarski konji pregazili ovu rijeku. Pokazna zamjenica naglašava kako se radi o rijeci oko koje se ova pjesma vrti. Zašto su konji u pitanju baš tatarski? Sljedeća pjesnička slika je pomalo mračna, spominje kosture konja od kojih je vrijeme nehajno napravilo muzej. Ponovo se druga rečenica nastavlja u treći stih. Kratka rečenica u trećem stihu daje pjesnički sliku tri jablana pred ulazom. Sljedeći stih donosi sliku mračnih krošnji koje se zrcale u vodi. Mračne krošnje stoljeća kaže nam pjesnikinja.  Ponovno imamo prizivanje motiva davnina. Stoljeća aludiraju na davnine. Spominjanje vremena i prolaznosti te kosti podsjeća na smrt, a voda ponovo na novo rođenje. Voda je život i kretanje. U sljedećoj rečenici voda postaje subjekt, kaže se kako ona teče misleći na čežnju divljih pataka. Dakle, imamo personifikaciju vode, ona postaje misleća. Kakva je ta čežnja, kada se ona događa? Pjesma nam odgovara u tisuću puta banulo proljeće. Stoga, vidimo da se radi o proljetnoj čežnji. Je li to čežnja za životom? Simbolizira li ta proljetna čežnja sam život koji se uvijek ponavlja i oporavlja, prirodno kretanje i promjenu? Sa svojevrsnim prizivanjem proljeća završava četvrta strofa. 


Zatim slijedi razmak te odvojena rečenica. Možemo li je promatrati kao novu strofu koja se sastoji od jedne kratke rečenice? Ta rečenica kaže samo: Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba. Ta pjesnička slika spaja u sebi ideju života s prizivanjem i slike godišnjeg doba koji označava rođenje i vode u kojoj ribe žive i samih riba. Ljuske riba rastu dok i one rastu, kao i naprimjer drveća. Iduća strofa počinje obraćanjem vodi u vokativu, a zanimljiva je jer se nastavlja u rečenicu koja se ne samo provlači kroz dvije strofe nego ima i zanimljiv vizualan oblik. Vesna Parun se nije tipično koristila takvim inovacijama no ovdje imamo dvije riječi koje su izdvojene na kraj stiha te vizualno mijenjaju cijelu pjesmu. 


Vodo koja dršćeš od studeni, budeć se iz raspuklih

                                                                   zidova leda

čuješ li reske glasove galebova morskih?

Oni te zovu da bi drugovali s tobom.

O seobe koje se ponavljate.

Nagoni od kojih se rijeka puši

gola i tamna, pod vrbama prostrta.

Proljeće od rastućih ljusaka riba.


Pjesnikinja se obraća vodi. Što lirski subjekt pita vodu? Pita je čuje li glasove galeba. Opet imamo povezivanje s bićima koja lete, ali ovaj put s galebima. Lirski pripovjedač kaže kako galebi zovu vodu kako bi drugovali sa njom. Galebovi su ptice koje žive i pokraj mora i pokraj vode. Tu vidimo povezivanje vode i more, dva snažna simbola u Vesninoj pjesničkoj zbirci. Pjesnikinja zatim u petom i posljednjem stihu priča o seobama koje se ponavljaju, što možemo povezati s rađanjem i krugom života, ali također i drugim promišljanjima i metaforama. Bogatstvo pjesništva je upravo u mnogoznačnosti i tumačenju. Lirski subjekt se seobama obraća u vokativu, ali u izjavnoj rečenice, te možemo zamisliti kako je intonacija mirna, možda i sjetna. Spominju se nagoni od kojih se rijeka puši, što opet možemo povezati sa prirodnim silama, rođenjem, rađanjem i životom. Voda se opisuje kao gola i tamna pod vrbama prostrta, te je možemo zamisliti i kao nešto mistično ili barem misteriozno. Kao završni stih i rečenicu imamo ponavljanje motiva proljeća od rastućih ljusaka riba. Pjesma završava ponavljanjem koje možda povezuje sve pjesničke slike. U svakom slučaju, pjesničke slike su snažne i dojmljive. Pjesma ne samo potiče na razmišljanje i propitivanje, već i ostavlja snažan dojam. Radi se o uspjelom i lijepom pjesničkom ostvarenju.




MORE OF VESNA PARUN'S POETRY -LINKS

YOU WHOSE HANDS ARE MORE INNOCENT THAN MINE, A POEM BY VESNA PARUN











Thank you for reading and visiting. How are you doing?


Comments

  1. Wonderful Poem. Also the pics are beautiful

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  2. Much to my shame, I hadn't heard of Vesna Parun, so thank you for the introduction and translation of her poem, which is absolutely beautiful! xxx
    Ann / https://polyester-princess.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. No shame, her works are translated but not that widely known outside of Slavic countries.

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  3. What a lovely poem Ivana! You look so pretty in blue!

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  4. I was in your country many years ago. I hope to visit it again because the views are truly breathtaking. All the best in the new year :)

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  5. Hermoso poema. Bello lugar. Te mando un beso.

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  6. Thanks for introducing me to Vesna Parun's poetry. Beautiful words from a beautiful woman , nice to see she was a cat lover, too!
    You look fabulous in that vibrant shade of blue, in harmony in your gorgeous surroundings. xxx

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    Replies
    1. Yes, cat lovers are a must. :)
      We don't feature writers that aren't cat lovers.
      Mostly because I don't know any writers who aren't cat lovers.
      Seriously though, most writers love cats.
      I don't know why, but I looked it up once and many writers were feline lovers!

      Delete
  7. What a beautiful poem with great photos. I dont see Tatar horses but here there are a lot of Tatar people live. Greetings.

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    1. Yes, there are no Tatar horses in this town, but the other things are there.
      I wonder why the poet described the horses as Tatar horses.

      Delete
  8. Such a wonderful way to start the new month and the new year with these vibriant photos and poetry of your countries beautiful and breathtaking landscapes! I love this blue top too! Wonderful to see all these amazing locations! And to get a sense of someone's inner beauty too! 💙💙💙💙💙💙 Thanks so much for being here and your comments too. All the best to your wonderful blog and your adventures!

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  9. Such amazing color! Wonderful to know of this poet and I love how you created these beautiful collogues. You certainly bring the past and the present together! Thank you for giving us such great views. Photographically and poetic, as well!💙🎉💙💙🎉🎉thank you so much for your comments! Wishing you a beautiful new year!

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  10. Honestly Ivana, your fluency in English is better than many native-speakers. I respect your advanced knowledge of language. The phrase "soul travel" is stunning and I plan to adopt it into my vocabulary. Thank you for that.

    And thank you also for your wonderful comments on my blog. Your comments are always smart, incisive and interesting. My goal in blogging has always been to start conversations and your responses are exactly the sort that do this. I appreciate and admire that.

    Glad to see the collage of photos. You're such a well-rounded person; your fashion-choices have always entertained and educated me. The way you surround the attractive blue dress with accessories (jewelry, sunglasses, handbag) is inspired.

    Finally I was going to compliment you on the tough task of translating poetry (wow that's hard) but then you yourself acknowledged that "translating poetry is an art" -- it truly is. And you do it well.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Writing in English feels natural to me, but I always strive to better myself. I think writing is a skill and like every skill- one needs to practice it. The more we write, the better we get at writing. Language is such a wonderful and fascinating subject. I truly believe that developing our (foreign or native) language skills can help us in every area of our life.
      I'm not sure I'd be able to translate all kinds of poetry. This poem is written in free verse. If I had to translate rhymes, I'd probably struggle a lot more. I think it'd take me forever to translate a sonnet or something of the sort.

      Delete
  11. There's so much to comment on in here. I am, yet again, struck by how incredibly clever and erudite you are. Not only in your own language but in English and interpreting poetry, better than most people I know. I think the poem is a beautiful one- I do love any poem connected to water- something draws me into them that other poems don't do in quite the same way. This Poetess (not heard that term before but I take it gladly) has such wonderful ideas. I love the idea of the river being a museum of fish scales. Mudlarkers would gladly peruse this museum should it wash up on the shore.
    I think I like your 3rd translation the best. It's got an immediacy to it.
    Wishing you a wonderful new year!
    xx

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    Replies
    1. I know what you mean. There's something so magical about water. I like water inspired poetry and writing, too! I also think Tolkien did such a good job with his Rivendell and all.
      I wish you all the best, too.

      Delete
  12. That's a cool poem - I like the imagery in it. You look lovely in blue - I am coveting your necklace!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Sheila. I got this necklace as a gift from some Chinese site years ago and the quality is really surprisingly good.

      Delete
  13. Your outfit is so fun with all the blue, and it's wonderful that you are not able to enjoy the original poem, but have a go at translating it and making the words flow so beautifully :)

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    1. Thanks dear Mica. I'm glad you liked it. I love this shade of blue!

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  14. you look truly amazing:) i am not a big fun of a deep water :) i have some kind of water fobia xd

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    1. Thank you. I can understand that, even I love all kinds of water. We all have our fears and phobias.

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    2. yes dear you are absolutely right;)

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  15. Hello, Ivana,

    I think you chose the location of the photos very well to match the mood of the poem! The city is incredible, as is your work of translating and interpreting the poem! Congratulations!

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    1. Thank you for saying that! I really appreciate it.

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  16. Boa tarde e um excelente segunda-feira minha querida amiga Ivana. Excelente poema, resenha e obrigado por dividir conosco. As fotos ficaram maravilhosas.

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  17. Beautiful poem! wonderful photos, very beautiful and inspiring post! All the best to you and your loved ones!

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  18. Beautiful poem and that place is really amazing!

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Post a Comment

All your comments mean a lot to me, even the criticism. Naravno da mi puno znači što ste uzeli vrijeme da nešto napišete, pa makar to bila i kritika. Per me le vostre parole sono sempre preziose anche quando si tratta di critiche.

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