L'AMANT (THE LOVER), A NOVEL BY MARGUERITE DURAS (BOOK REVIEW AND RECOMMENDATION)

In the post, I shall review an autobiographical novel by an acclaimed French writer Marguerite Duras.  Published in 1984, The Lover is a short and poignant lyrical novel. The novel’s dreamy atmosphere, lyrical writing and compelling narrative voice that switches between the first and the third person, makes it a hypnotizing read. Set in Vietnam (French Indochina at the time), The Lover focuses on Duras’ adolescent years, mainly on her intimate relationship with a twenty something Chinese man named Leo. Translated in more than forty languages, this book continues to enchant readers around the world. The author was seventy years old when she wrote this novel. In this complex novel, Duras revealed very personal, painful and intimate details from her life. 

The Lover, this powerful Noveau Roman, is one of Duras’ best known works. Having read it, I can certainly see why it is such a popular and praised book. This short but complex book possesses unique literary and artistic quality. Before I start reviewing this wonderfully sophisticated novel in more detail, I will answer some questions about The Lover to give you a more general idea of what kind of novel it is. That way you can also skip those questions that don't seem interesting to you. At different times in our life, we might be interested in different books.

It is always good to start with questions. Reading and understanding literature is all about asking questions. I try to teach my students to ask questions. This is also a very useful tool for writing. If you ask the right questions, the writing will flow more smoothly. In order to have a genuine understanding of art and literature, you need to learn to ask questions. If you don't ask questions, how are you going to begin to look for answers? Everything starts with a question.

U ovoj objavi ću podijelii svoj književni ogled za autobiografski roman hvaljene francuske spisateljice Marguerite Duras. Objavljen 1984., Ljubavnik je kratak i potresan lirski roman. Sanjiva atmosfera romana, lirsko pisanje i uvjerljiv narativni glas koji se prebacuje između prvog i trećeg lica čine ga hipnotizirajućim za čitanje. Smješten u Vijetnam (u to vrijeme Francuska Indokina), Ljubavnik se usredotočuje na adolescentske godine Marguerite Duras, uglavnom na njezinu intimnu vezu s dvadeseto i nešto godišnjim Kinezom po imenu Leo. Prevedena na više od četrdeset jezika, ova knjiga i dalje očarava čitatelje diljem svijeta. Autorica je imala sedamdeset godina kada je napisala ovaj roman. U ovom složenom romanu Duras je otkrila vrlo osobne, bolne i intimne detalje iz svog života. Ljubavnik, ovaj moćni romanski roman, jedno je od najpoznatijih djela Marguerite Duras. Pročitavši je, shvaćam zašto je tako popularna i hvaljena knjiga. Ova kratka, ali složena knjiga posjeduje jedinstvenu književnu i umjetničku kvalitetu. Prije nego što počnem detaljnije pisati o pvom prekrasno sofisticiranom romanu, odgovorit ću na neka pitanja o Ljubavniku kako bih vam dao općenitiju i pregledniju predodžbu o kakvoj se vrsti romana radi. Na taj način možete preskočiti ona pitanja koja vam se ne čine zanimljivima i vidjeti radi li se o knjizi za vas. U različitim razdobljima našeg života, mogle bi nas zanimati različite knjige. Uvijek je dobro započeti pitanjima. Čitanje i razumijevanje literature se temelji na postavljanju pitanja. Svoje učenike pokušavam naučiti postavljati pitanja. Ovo je također vrlo koristan alat za pisanje. Ako postavite prava pitanja, pisanje će teći lakše. Kako biste imali istinsko razumijevanje umjetnosti i književnosti, morate naučiti postavljati pitanja. Ako ne postavljate pitanja, kako ćete početi tražiti pa i pronaći odgovore? Sve počinje pitanjem.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: 

What is the opening chapter of The Lover like?

The novel’s opening chapter reveals its lyrical and dreamy quality. As a reader, I felt immediately drawn by the candid opening paragraphs. It can be argued that the opening chapter has a fair amount of foreshadowing. Immediately in the novel’s opening chapter, the author shares with us that for her- early in her life it was already  too late. As you (as a reader) progress through the novel, you  will learn what she means by this. Another thing Duras describes in her opening paragraph is an incident when a man approached her to tell her that he  preferred her aged face to her younger one. I think Duras agreed with him mentally. Perhaps this book is (in a way) Duras’ way of accepting both her young and mature self. Duras approaches aging with a mixture of indifference and fascination one would expect from a French intellectual and artist is a very powerful moment: “Very early in my life it was too late. It was already too late when I was eighteen. Between eighteen and twenty-five my face took off in a new direction. I grew old at eighteen. I don't know if it's the same for everyone, I've never asked. But I believe I've heard of the way time can suddenly accelerate on people when they're going through even the most youthful and highly esteemed stages of life. My ageing was very sudden. I saw it spread over my features one by one, changing the relationship between them, making the eyes larger, the expression sadder, the mouth more final, leaving great creases in the forehead. But instead of being dismayed I watched this process with the same sort of interest I might have taken in the reading of a book.”

Having read this book, I’m now able to see additional meaning in this opening paragraph. Rather than just the wisdom of an artist approaching aging with fascination, I also see a brave woman who understands her past and is not afraid to confront it.  What do I mean by this? I mean that I see a woman who accepts her life and her personal stories as a survivor. Instead of victimizing herself, Duras finds love and art where she can. Her sudden ageing was the result of her life and in a way also- her lost love.

PITANJA I ODGOVORI:

Kako izgleda prvo poglavlje Ljubavnika? Početno poglavlje romana otkriva njegovu lirsku i sanjivu kvalitetu. Kao čitatelj, odmah sam se osjetih privučena iskrenim uvodnim odlomcima. Može se tvrditi da početno poglavlje ima priličnu količinu predznakovitosti. Odmah u početnom poglavlju romana autorica s nama dijeli da je za nju vrlo rano u životu već bilo prekasno. Kako (kao čitatelj) budete napredovali kroz roman, razumijet ćete što ona pod tim misli. Još jedna stvar koju Duras opisuje u svom uvodnom odlomku je prošli događaj kada joj je muškarac prišao kako bi joj rekao da mu je draže njezino ostarjelo lice od mlađeg. Mislim da se Duras mentalno složila s njim. Možda je ova knjiga (na neki način) Margueritin način prihvaćanja i svog mladog i zrelog ja. Duras prilazi starenju s mješavinom ravnodušnosti i fascinacije koja bi se očekivala od francuskog intelektualca i umjetnika te je vrlo je snažan trenutak: “Vrlo rano u mom životu bilo je prekasno. Već je bilo prekasno kad mi je bilo osamnaest godina. Između osamnaest i dvadeset pete moje je lice krenulo u novom smjeru...." Sada nakon što sam pročitala ovu knjigu, u mogućnosti sam vidjeti dodatno značenje u ovom uvodnom odlomku. Umjesto samo mudrosti umjetnika koji fascinirano pristupa starenju, vidim i hrabru ženu koja razumije svoju prošlost i ne boji se suočiti s njom. Što želim reći pod ovim? Mislim da vidim ženu koja prihvaća svoj život i svoje osobne priče kao netko tko će sve preživjeti. Umjesto da se pretvori u žrtvu, Duras pronalazi ljubav i umjetnost gdje može. Njezino naglo starenje rezultat je njezina života, a na neki način i izgubljene ljubavi.

What kind of novel is The Lover by M. Duras?

It’s an autobiographical lyrical novel focusing on Duras’ adolescence in Indochina, her troubled (somewhat) abusive family circumstances and her first love.  Characterized by a lyrical flowing prose and dreamy atmosphere, the novel is a non-linear piece of writing with a narrative voice that switches from the first to the third person. The titular lover in the novel is Duras’ first love: a young Chinese man who invites her for a ride in his car and becomes her first lover. The novel contains erotical writing but I wouldn’t call it an erotic novel. The erotic writing is an essential part of the novel, though. The erotica is the defining force of the love story described. However, The Lover is not a love story either, it is much too sad and tragic for that. The Lover is a complex novel that isn’t easily defined. Perhaps this book is destined to be a different and unique experience for every reader. While this is true for art and literature in general, when it comes to this novel the space for interpretation is vast. As a reader, you can choose to focus on all or any of the different aspects of this book: on meditative and lyrical passages about art, love and writing; on philosophical reflections about life; or on those more autobiographical and descriptive aspects of the book.

Kakav je roman Ljubavnik M. Duras?

Riječ je o autobiografskom lirskom romanu koji se fokusira na adolescenciju M. Duras u Indokini (današnji Vijetnam), njezine teške (pomalo) nasilne obiteljske okolnosti i njezinu prvu ljubav. Okarakteriziran lirskom prozom i sanjivom atmosferom, roman je nelinearni s narativnim glasom koji prelazi iz prvog u treće lice. Titularni ljubavnik u romanu je prva ljubav M. Duras: mladi Kinez koji ju poziva na vožnju svojim automobilom i postaje njezin prvi ljubavnik. Roman sadrži erotski tekst, ali ga ne bih nazvao erotskim romanom. Ipak, erotsko pisanje je bitan dio romana. Erotika je odlučujuća za snagu opisane ljubavne priče. Međutim, ni Ljubavnik nije ljubavna priča, previše je tužna i tragična za to. Ljubavnik je složen roman koji nije lako definirati. Možda je ova knjiga predodređena da bude drugačije i jedinstveno iskustvo za svakog čitatelja. Iako to vrijedi za umjetnost i književnost općenito, kada je u pitanju ovaj roman, prostor za tumačenje je ogroman. Kao čitatelj, možete odabrati da se usredotočite na sve ili bilo koji od različitih aspekata ove knjige: na meditativne i lirske odlomke o umjetnosti, ljubavi i pisanju; o filozofskim promišljanjima o životu; ili o onim autobiografskim i opisnijim aspektima knjige.

What is the love story in The Lover like? How is it connected to Duras’ family situation? How is it described in the novel? The love story this novel describes is not a classical one and cannot be understood outside the traumatic family circumstances Duras’ grew up in. This is an author who isn’t afraid of her sadness, but who rather embraces it as a part of her artistic identity. Therefore, the tone of writing is quite sad and melancholic. The narrative voice shifts between the first and the third person. Sometimes Duras speaks about herself in the third person in this novel, possibly because the events she describes are so painful and personal. Duras wrote and published this novel at the age of seventy, possibly to protect her mother, on whose mental illness this book touches as well as her older brother, who was abusive to all of their family members. Duras openly writes about this in the novel, about how she basically waited for her family members to die to reveal some details about her childhood and youth. It seems that Duras’ kept some details out of her previous autobiographical works in order to protect her brother and mother.

Kakva je ljubavna priča u Ljubavniku? Kako je to povezano s Margueritinom obiteljskom situacijom? Kako je to opisano u romanu? Ljubavna priča koju ovaj roman opisuje nije klasična i ne može se shvatiti izvan traumatskih obiteljskih okolnosti u kojima je Duras odrastala. Riječ je o autorici koja se ne boji svoje tuge, već je prihvaća kao dio svojega umjetničkog identiteta. Stoga je ton pisanja prilično tužan i melankoličan. Narativni glas prelazi između prvog i trećeg lica. Ponekad Duras govori o sebi u trećem licu u ovom romanu, vjerojatno zato što su događaji koje opisuje tako bolni i osobni. Duras je ovaj roman napisala i objavila u dobi od sedamdeset godina, vjerojatno kako bi zaštitio svoju majku, čije se psihičke bolesti ova knjiga dotiče, kao i njenog starijeg brata koji je zlostavljao sve članove njihove obitelji. Duras o tome otvoreno piše u romanu, kako je zapravo čekala da članovi njene obitelji umru da bi otkrila neke detalje o svom djetinjstvu i mladosti. Čini se da je Marguerite Duras neke detalje skrivala iz svojih prijašnjih autobiografskih djela kako bi zaštitila brata i majku.

What is this novel about?

While Duras' family life is an essential part of this book, it could be argued that the novel focuses mostly on her relationship with Leo (her Asian lover and her first love). Duras’ somewhat enigmatic lover is, or so it seems, often a driving force behind her self- reflections and meditations. In a way, their intimate relationship is a driving force behind this book. However, The Lover is not a classical love story. Perhaps it is better to say that it is a story about something that might have been a love story in different circumstances but that nevertheless was a defining experience for Duras and genuine in a strange way. I would say that it is a book about finding a sort of love, imperfect and tragic, amid traumatic and even abusive circumstances. A novel about growing up in Indochina as an isolated and poor French adolescent girl with a mentally ill mother and a lover you don’t know how to talk to. A novel about becoming a writer, about becoming a woman, about becoming Marguerite Duras.

What are Marguerite Duras and Leo’s family circumstances? 

They are both socially isolated semi-orphants. In a way, despite the age difference, they are a boy and a girl, for Leo is not an independent man. So, what is life like for this boy and this girl? The girl’s mother is mentally ill and her father is dead. The older brother terrorizes everyone: Duras herself, her mother, the younger brother and even the servants. Dumas’ family is desperately poor.  Leo has money but he is not free to use it. The boy’s father is an opium addict and his mother is dead. They are both isolated and desperate individuals who seem to find solace one in another.

O čemu govori ovaj roman?

 Iako je Margueritin obiteljski život bitan dio ove knjige, moglo bi se tvrditi da se roman uglavnom fokusira na njezin odnos s Leom (njezinim azijskim ljubavnikom i prvom ljubavlju). Durasin pomalo zagonetni ljubavnik je, ili se barem tako čini, često pokretačka snaga njezinih samopromišljanja i meditacija. Na neki način njihov je intimni odnos pokretačka snaga ove knjige. Međutim, Ljubavnik nije klasična ljubavna priča. Možda je bolje reći da je to priča o nečemu što je u različitim okolnostima mogla biti ljubavna priča, ali je ipak bilo odlučujuće iskustvo za Durasa i na čudan način iskreno. Rekla bih da je to knjiga o pronalaženju vrste ljubavi, nesavršene i tragične, usred traumatskih, pa čak i zlostavljačih uvjeta i okolnosti. Roman o odrastanju u Indokini izolirane i siromašne francuske adolescentice s mentalno bolesnom majkom i ljubavnikom s kojim ne zna i ne može razgovarati. Roman o tome kako postati spisateljica, o tome kako postati žena, o tome kako postati Marguerite Duras.

Kakve su obiteljske prilike Marguerite Duras i Lea? Oboje su socijalno izolirana polu-siročad. Na neki način, unatoč razlici u godinama, oni su djevojka i mladić, jer Leo nije samostalan muškarac. Dakle, kakav je život ovog mladića i ove djevojke? Majka djevojke (na trenutke još djevojčice) je na trenutke doista psihički bolesna, a otac je mrtav. Stariji brat terorizira sve: samu Duras, njezinu majku, mlađeg brata, pa čak i sluge. Dumasina obitelj očajnički je siromašna. Leo ima novca, ali ga nije slobodan koristiti samostalno. Mladićev otac je ovisnik o opijumu, a majka mu je mrtva. Oboje su izolirani i očajni pojedinci koji kao da nalaze utjehu jedno u drugome.

What is Marguerite’s and Leo’s relationship like?

It is a difficult relationship to describe, I think. A relationship where there is no black and white, a relationship between two people who didn’t know or couldn’t have known how to talk to one another. I do think there was, despite everything, love there. At times, this book as sad as it was, seemed to recall and affirm that love. That illogical and senseless love between two people who hardly spoke with one another, but who were perhaps lovers in the true sense of that word. 

“Years after the war, after marriages, children, divorces, books, he came to Paris with his wife. He phoned her. It's me. She recognized him at once from the voice. He said, I just wanted to hear your voice. She said, it's me, hello. He was nervous, afraid, as before. His voice suddenly trembled. And with the trembling, suddenly, she heard again the voice of China. He knew she'd begun writing books, he'd heard about it through her mother whom he'd met again in Saigon. And about her younger brother, and he'd been grieved for her. Then he didn't know what to say. And then he told her. Told her that it was as before, that he still loved her, he could never stop loving her, that he'd love her until death.”

Kakav je odnos Marguerite Dumas i Lea?

 Mislim da je taj odnos teško opisati. Odnos u kojem nema crno-bijelog, odnos između dvoje ljudi koji nisu znali ili nisu mogli znati razgovarati jedno s drugim. Mislim da je tu, unatoč svemu, bilo ljubavi. Ponekad se činilo da ova knjiga, koliko god tužna bila, podsjeća na to i potvrđuje tu ljubav. Ta nelogična i malo smislena ljubav između dvoje ljudi koji jedva da su međusobno razgovarali, ali koji su možda bili ljubavnici u pravom smislu te riječi.

“Godinama nakon rata, nakon brakova, djece, razvoda, knjiga, došao je u Pariz sa suprugom. Nazvao ju je. Ja sam. Odmah ga je prepoznala po glasu. Rekao je, samo sam htio čuti tvoj glas. Rekla je, ja sam, zdravo. Bio je nervozan, uplašen, kao i prije. Glas mu je odjednom zadrhtao. I uz drhtanje, iznenada, ponovno je začula glas Kine. Znao je da je počela pisati knjige, čuo je za to preko njezine majke koju je ponovno sreo u Saigonu. I o njezinom mlađem bratu, a on je bio tužan sa njom. Tada nije znao što bi rekao. A onda joj je rekao. Rekao joj je da je sve kao prije, da ju i dalje voli, da ju nikad ne može prestati voljeti, da će ju voljeti do smrti.”

Why is this novel considered controversial?

Probably the most controversial aspect of this book is Dumas’ description of her adolescent intimate relationship with a man who is not only older than her but aware of the fact that she is a minor. Nevertheless, it is important to note that the author, while admitting to being in love,  certainly doesn’t idolize this relationship. Moreover, this controversial relationship between an adolescent girl from an impoverished French family and a twenty seven year old Chinese man, a son of a wealthy businessman is not what it might seem at first. Despite their age difference, they are both lonely and vulnerable in similar ways. It’s not exactly a tale of abuse as the age difference might imply. Although their romantic relationship is obviously problematic because of age and class difference (i.e an unequal power balance), it is consensual and not without tenderness. Duras writes that the class difference was, in a way, obliterated by the racial difference. That brings me to another controversial point and that is Duras’ problematic family. Their treatment of both Marguerite and Leo is problematic. Thrust into poverty by the death of the pater familias, Duras’ family more than struggled and sometimes they turned against one another. A reader gets the impression that Marguerite suffered more abuse at the hand of her mother and brother, then she did from her older lover. It is almost as if Duras looked for shelter in her lover (and he in her). Duras’ mother in this novel accepts money and gifts from Leo and this can be seen as problematic for obvious reasons. Leo cannot marry Marguerite because he is financially dependent on his father. So, when the mother and the brothers accepts gifts from a man who has ruined their daughter’s and sister’s reputation, that can be seen as a sort of a prostitution. What is worse, Duras’ mother and brother seem to hate Leo on racial basis. Duras finds herself in a terrible situation indeed, torn between a love for Leo and love for her family. It is the same for him. His father doesn’t want him to have anything with Marguerite. Honestly, I think the book is the only form to describe a relationship as complex and controversial as this one. That is why I'm not sure I will look for the movie version.

Zašto se ovaj roman smatra kontroverznim?

Vjerojatno najkontroverzniji aspekt ove knjige je Dumasin opis njezine adolescentske intimne veze s muškarcem koji je ne samo stariji od nje, već je svjestan činjenice da je maloljetna. Ipak, važno je napomenuti da autorica, iako priznaje da je bila zaljubljena, svakako ne idolizira ovu vezu. Štoviše, ova kontroverzna veza između adolescentice iz osiromašene francuske obitelji i dvadesetsedmogodišnjeg Kineza, sina bogatog poslovnog čovjeka nije onakva kakva bi se na prvu mogla činiti. Unatoč razlici u godinama, oboje su usamljeni i ranjivi na sličan način. Nije to baš priča o zlostavljanju kao što bi razlika u godinama mogla sugerirati. Iako je njihova romantična veza očito problematična zbog dobne i klasne razlike (tj. nejednake ravnoteže moći), ona je sporazumna i ne bez nježnosti. Duras piše da je klasna razlika na neki način izbrisana rasnom razlikom. To me dovodi do još jedne kontroverzne točke, a to je Durasina problematična obitelj. Njihovo postupanje prema Marguerite i Leu je više nego problematično. Gurnuta u siromaštvo smrću pater familiasa, obitelj Duras se patila i borila, a ponekad su se i okretali jedni protiv drugih. Čitatelj stječe dojam da je Marguerite pretrpjela više zlostavljanja od strane majke i brata nego od starijeg ljubavnika. Gotovo kao da je Duras potražila utočište u svom ljubavniku (a i on u njoj). Durasina majka u ovom romanu prihvaća novac i darove od Lea i to se iz očitih razloga može smatrati problematičnim. Leo se ne može oženiti Marguerite jer je financijski ovisan o svom ocu. Dakle, kada majka i braća prihvate darove od čovjeka koji je uništio ugled njihove kćeri i sestre, to se može shvatiti kao neka vrsta prostitucije. Što je još gore, čini se da Durasina majka i brat mrze Lea na rasnoj osnovi. Duras se zaista nalazi u strašnoj situaciji, rastrgana između ljubavi prema Leu i ljubavi prema svojoj obitelji, a njemu je jednako teško. Njegov otac ne želi da ima ništa s Marguerite. Iskreno, mislim da je knjiga jedini oblik koji opisuje tako složen i kontroverzan odnos kao što je ovaj. Zato nisam siguran hoću li potražiti filmsku verziju.

Is there a novel I could or would compare The Lover with?

Actually, there is. Marina or About Biography, an autobiographical novel by Croatian writer Irena Vrkljan is in many ways similar. It was even published around the same time (Duras published her novel in 1984 and Irena in 1985). Irena's lyrical writing style is very reminiscent of Duras' style. Irena also had a troubled relationship with her mother as did Russian writer Marina and Croatian actress Dora whose lives Irena explores alongside their own. Moreover, Irena, just like Marguerite,  meditates about the nature of art and love in her novel.

Postoji li roman s kojim bih mogao usporediti Ljubavnika?

Zapravo, postoji. Marina ili o biografiji, autobiografski roman hrvatske spisateljice Irene Vrkljan po mnogočemu je sličan. Čak je objavljea otprilike u isto vrijeme (Duras je objavila njezin roman 1984., a Irena 1985.). Irenin lirski stil pisanja jako podsjeća na Durasov stil. Irena je imala problematičan odnos s majkom, kao i ruska spisateljica Marina i hrvatska glumica Dora čije živote Irena istražuje uz svoj. Štoviše, Irena, baš kao I marguerite, meditira o prirodi umjetnosti i ljubavi u svom romanu.

What is the relationship between Marguerite Dumas and her mother like?

It's a complex relationship. Dumas' mother seems to pathologically love her first-born and excuse him everything, often at expense of her other children: Marguerite and her young brother. At times, it seems that her mother doesn't seem to think much of Dumas and that is painful to read. Her mother certainly doesn't encourage Dumas to become a writer.

“I want to write. I've already told my mother: That's what I want to do-write. No answer the first time. Then she asks, Write what? I say books, novels. [...] She's against it, it's not worthy, it's not real work, it's nonsense. Later she said, A childish idea.”

 However, Marguerite also writes favourably about her mother who suffered from bipolar disorder (manic depression at the time). She writes about how her mother made friends easily and was able to built a new life for herself time and time again. So, Marguerite possibly sees her mother as a brave woman. Later in life, Dumas describes their relationship as estranged. The general feel I got from this novel is that the author chooses to be fair and forgiving to her mother, even if it is obvious that she has hurt her. In some ways, Duras feels sorry for her mother. Duras certainly feels sorry for the way that her older brother exploited their mother. 

“It's here we are at the heart of our common fate, the fact that all three of us are our mother's children, the children of a candid creature murdered by society. We're on the side of the society which has reduced her to despair. Because of what's been done to our mother, so amiable, so trusting, we hate life, we hate ourselves.”

Kakav je odnos između Marguerite Dumas i njezine majke?

To je složen odnos. Čini se da Dumasova majka patološki voli svog prvorođenca i sve mu opravdava, često na račun svoje druge djece: Marguerite i njenog mlađeg brata. Ponekad se čini da njezina majka ne misli puno o M. Dumas i to je bolno čitati. Njezina majka sigurno ne potiče Marguerite da postane pisac.

“Želim pisati. Već sam rekla svojoj majci: To želim raditi - pisati. Nema odgovora prvi put. Onda ona pita: Što pisati? Kažem knjige, romane. [...] Ona je protiv toga, nije dostojno, to nije pravi posao, to je glupost. Kasnije je rekla, djetinjasta ideja.

 Međutim, Marguerite također pozitivno piše o svojoj majci koja je patila od bipolarnog poremećaja (u to vrijeme manična depresija). Piše o tome kako bi se njezina majka lako sprijateljila  s novim ljudima i iznova pokušala izgraditi novi život za sebe. Dakle, Marguerite svoju majku možda doživljava kao hrabru ženu. Kasnije u životu, Dumas opisuje njihov odnos kao otuđen. Opći osjećaj koji sam stekla iz ovog romana je da autorica odlučuje biti poštena i oprašta prema svojoj majci, čak i ako je očito da ju je povrijedila. U neku ruku je i žali, a svakako žali negativni utjecaj koji je stariji brat imao na njenu majku i kako ju je iskorištavao. 

Now, with all the answers answered, I can finally start my review. 

Sada kada sam odgovorila na sva pitanja, mogu sa vama podijeliti svog ogled.

L'AMANT (THE LOVER), A NOVEL BY MARGUERITE DURAS 5/5

The Lover is one of the most brilliant and enchanting books I have ever read. In many ways, it is not an easy read despite its lyrical prose. Some of the subjects explored are controversial, complex and sensity. For me personally, some aspects of this book were quite difficult to read about. Some passages in this book are quite tragic and painful to read. What I found most tragic  about this book was not the human tragedy of the love story  but rather Dumas' family story. As the novel progresses we learn more details about Dumas' family. With her writing, Dumas transports us to roaring twenties that aren't very glamorous for a starving adolescent French girl growing up in French Indochina. Adolescent Marguerite wonders around, isolated and alone, wearing red lipstick, high heels, a pretty dress and a straw hat. Her attire is not exactly suitable for her age, but there is nobody to advise the young girl. Her absent minded mother remarks on Marguerite's 'new' look as chic. She doesn't tell her daughter that it is dangerous to wonder alone.

Ljubavnik je jedna od najbriljantnijih i najzanosnijih knjiga koje sam ikad pročitala. Na mnogo načina, unatoč poetičnosti jezika, nije ju lako čitati. Neke od tema koje se istražuju su kontroverzne, složene i osjetljive.   Za mene osobno, neke aspekte ove knjige bilo je prilično teško čitati. Neki odlomci u ovoj knjizi prilično su tragični i bolni za čitanje. Ono što sam smatrao najtragičnijim u ovoj knjizi nije ljudska tragedija ljubavne priče, već Dumasina obiteljska priča. Kako roman napreduje, saznajemo više detalja o obitelji Marguerite Duras. Svojim pisanjem Dumas nas prenosi u burne dvadesete koje nisu baš glamurozne za izgladnjelu mladu Francuskinju adolescenske dobi koja odrasta u Indokini. Adolescentna Marguerite se luta okolo, izolirana i sama, nosi crveni ruž, visoke potpetice, lijepu haljinu i slamnati šešir. Njezina odjeća nije baš primjerena njezinim godinama, ali djevojku nema tko savjetovati. Njezina odsutna majka njen 'novi' izgled smatra šik. Ne govori svojoj kćeri da je opasno lutati  sama.

 Perhaps her mother has given up on everything. Perhaps the mother sees a chance in the daughter's beauty. Not on a conscious level, but on a subconscious level. The mother who has two sons who aren't able to make it on their own, the older one (her favourite child) being especially problematic. The mother might on a subconscious level, see her daughter's beauty as a way of their poverty. One can hardly tell what option is more terrible but they are certainly both possible. The mother might think of her daughter as a 'way out' but at the same time, the mother  might be honestly happy that her daughter is besides her, alive and growing up before her eyes. Her remark about her daughter's chicness, might, be completely innocent and loving. One of the things this book teaches is that the truth can be complex.

Možda je njezina majka odustala od svega. Možda majka vidi šansu u kćerinoj ljepoti. Ne na svjesnoj, već na podsvjesnoj razini. Majka koja ima dva sina koji se  ne mogu snaći sami, a posebno je problematičan stariji (njeno najdraže dijete). Majka bi na podsvjesnoj razini mogla vidjeti ljepotu svoje kćeri kao način bjega iz njihovog siromaštva. Teško se može reći koja je opcija strašnija, ali su obje moguće. Majka bi o svojoj kćeri mogla razmišljati kao o 'izlazu', ali bi u isto vrijeme majka bi mogla biti iskreno sretna što je njezina kći pored nje, živa i raste pred njenim očima. Njezina primjedba o novom stilu njezine kćeri mogla bi biti potpuno nevina i puna ljubavi. Jedna od stvari koje ova knjiga uči jest da istina može biti složena.

For the mother, despite all her shortcomings,  loves the girl. Nevertheless, she is unable to be a true mother to her. The fatherless girl must feel it too, feel that she is perhaps an orphan. A girl who is wise beyond her years, a waif with big sad eyes. A girl that wants to write but her mother doesn't encourage her. Nobody really loves and needs adolescent M. Duras- not until one day and even then it's a shadow of a love. Dumas' extreme poverty isolates her from society. It is hard to understand how devastating extreme poverty can be if a person hasn't experienced it personally.  Dumas as an adolescent girl, already has the weight of the world on her shoulders. At fifteen, Dumas is a girl  with emotions so complex they cannot easily be put into words. A girl that loves her mother and wishes that her older brother would be dead. Why? So that her younger brother (the one the older one abuses) could be saved, perhaps that they could all be saved. 

Jer majka, unatoč svim svojim nedostacima, voli djevojku. Ipak, ne može joj biti prava majka. I djevojka bez oca to mora osjetiti, osjećati da je možda siroče. Djevojka koja je mudra iznad svojih godina, skitnica s velikim tužnim očima. Djevojka koja želi pisati, ali je majka ne ohrabruje. Nitko zapravo ne voli i ne treba petnaestogošnju M. Duras - tek jednog dana, a i tada je to sjena ljubavi. Margueritino ekstremno siromaštvo izolira je od društva. Teško je razumjeti koliko ekstremno siromaštvo može biti razorno ako ga osoba nije osobno iskusila. Dumas kao adolescentica već ima težinu svijeta na svojim plećima. S petnaest godina Dumas je djevojka s toliko složenim emocijama da se ne mogu lako opisati riječima. Djevojčica koja voli svoju majku i želi da joj stariji brat umre. Zašto? Da bi se spasio njezin mlađi brat (onaj kojeg stariji zlostavlja), možda da se svi spase.

That's one of the things I love about this novel. It doesn't judge anyone. Marguerite examines her intimate and family life with brutal honestly, but she seems to be free from judgement or perhaps if not entirely free from judgement then very open minded and willing to forget. She questions but doesn't judge. Maybe it is the wisdom that comes with years. Maybe it is something emerging from vulnerability every artist draws from.  The only exception is perhaps her older brother. However, considering everything that he has done, it is strange that Marguerite doesn't hate him more. But even with her older brother, a man who got his first job at fifty, who gambled their assets over and over again, who stole from them to feed his additions, who abused his younger brother, who tried to rape their nanny,  even when it comes to him, Marguerite refuses to give in to hate. Her pen is a pen of a true artist, almost transcendent to this world. 

To je jedna od stvari koje volim u ovom romanu. Ne osuđuje nikoga. Marguerite svoj intimni i obiteljski život brutalno ispituje iskreno, ali čini se da je slobodna od osuđivanja ili možda ako ne potpuno slobodna od osuđivanja onda vrlo otvorena i spremna zaboraviti. Ona prosuđuje, ali ne osuđuje. Možda je to mudrost koja dolazi s godinama. Možda je to nešto što proizlazi iz ranjivosti iz čega svaki umjetnik crpi. Jedina iznimka je možda njezin stariji brat. No, s obzirom na sve što je napravio, čudno je da ga Marguerite ne mrzi više. Ali čak i s njezinim starijim bratom, čovjekom koji je prvi posao dobio u pedesetoj, koji je uvijek iznova prokockao njihovu imovinu, koji je krao od njih kako bi hranio svoje ovisnosti, koji je zlostavljao svog mlađeg brata, koji je pokušao silovati njihovu dadilju, čak i kad dođe do njega, Marguerite odbija prepustiti se mržnji. Njeno pero je pero prave umjetnice, skoro pa i transcendentalno ovom svijetu. 

What I found so incredibly touching is that Dumas is so brave and open. So brave and so wise that she doesn't hate anyone. She is incapable of hate- at least at point in her life when this novel is born. When she is  recovered alcoholic and an accomplished writer. When she perhaps starts to understand addiction and mental issues more. Dumas' pen forgives but doesn't forget. That made me ponder. Why should Marguerite hate anyone? Why does anyone? If something or someone doesn't posses an immediate danger to us or our loved ones, then hate is a redundant and senseless emotion. Hate is a horrible emotion that consumes and drains us from inside. Duras is too much an artist to hate. At seventy, as a woman who has lived her life openly, who survived the Second World War and numerous challenges, she can write with ease and courage. This is a woman who looks at her past not with nostalgia but with an eye of a true artist. Thus Dumas paints for us an vision of a world that is no more, of love that could have been. At the same time, who can say that it wasn't- after a fashion- a love after all? Some might say that Duras' description of her adolescent relationship is a defense mechanism, but even if it is- isn't it always better not to look back in anger? Isn't it better to focus on the good?

Ono što mi je bilo tako nevjerojatno dirljivo je da je Dumas tako hrabra i otvorena. Toliko hrabra i tako mudra da nikoga ne mrzi. Ona nije sposobna da mrzi - barem u trenutku u životu kada se ovaj roman stvarao. Kad je ozdravila od ovisnosti (neko vrijeme se borila s alkoholizmom) i kada je uspješna spisateljica. Možda je trenutak u životu kada počne bolje shvaćati ovisnost i psihičke probleme. Dumasino pero oprašta, ali ne zaboravlja. To me navelo na razmišljanje. Zašto bi Marguerite nekoga mrzila? Zašto itko nekoga mrzi? Ako nešto ili netko ne predstavlja neposrednu opasnost za nas ili našu voljenu osobu, onda je mržnja suvišna i besmislena emocija. Mržnja je užasna emocija koja nas proždire i iscrpljuje iznutra. Duras je previše umjetnica da bi mrzila. Sa sedamdeset godina, kao žena koja je otvoreno živjela svoj život, koja je preživjela Drugi svjetski rat i brojne izazove, može pisati s lakoćom i hrabrošću. Ovo je žena koja na svoju prošlost gleda ne s nostalgijom, već okom istinske umjetnice. Tako nam Dumas slika viziju svijeta kojeg više nema, ljubavi koja je mogla biti. U isto vrijeme, tko može reći da to ipak nije bila – na neki način – ljubav? Neki bi mogli reći da je Margueritin opis njezine adolescentske veze obrambeni mehanizam, ali čak i ako jest – nije li uvijek bolje ne osvrnuti se u ljutnji? Nije li bolje usmjeriti se na dobro?

Moreover, I admire how the protagonist/writer of the novel doesn't victimize herself.  Marguerite defends her lover, speaks of his innocence and elegance. Considering that he was a twenty seven year old man and she a fifteen year old girl, one would expect some bitterness or anger on her side. She never blames him, not even for one second. Perhaps because Leo blames himself for everything. Still, her surrender to him is a mystery. She is a child and a woman at the same time. As I said, this relationship is not as black and white as it might seem. At the same time, it is not something to aspire to either. Perhaps the best way to look at it is without judgement or approval. As Tennessee Williams wisely said in one of his plays (i.e. The Rose Tattoo) : "Priest, you love your people but you don't understand them. Sometimes people find God in each other." It could have been what happened: two individuals from families troubled with mental illness/addiction found God in one another. 

Štoviše, divim se tome kako protagonistica/pisca romana ne pretvara samu sebe u žrtvu. Marguerite brani svog ljubavnika, govori o njegovoj nevinosti i eleganciji. S obzirom da je on bio dvadesetsedmogodišnjak, a ona petnaestogodišnja djevojka, moglo bi se očekivati neka gorčina ili ljutnja s njene strane. Nikada ga ne krivi, čak ni na sekundu. Možda zato što Leo za sve krivi sebe. Ipak, njezina predaja njemu je misterij. Ona je dijete i žena u isto vrijeme. Kao što sam već napisala, ovaj odnos nije tako crno-bijel kao što se čini. Istodobno, to nije nešto čemu treba težiti. Možda je najbolji način da se na to gleda bez osuđivanja i odobravanja. Kao što je Tennessee Williams mudro rekao u jednoj od svojih drama (drami Tetovaža ruže): "Svećeniče, voliš svoj narod, ali ga ne razumiješ. Ponekad ljudi pronalaze Boga jedni u drugima." Moglo bi biti što se dogodilo: dvije osobe iz obitelji koje imaju problema s mentalnom bolešću/ovisnošću našle su Boga jedna u drugoj.

I'm not justifying Leo, but I find it touching that they obviously meant a great deal one to another. Especially taking into consideration that the feelings Marguerite and Leo had one for another lasted for a life time. In a way it is hard not to see their relationship as a triumph against racism. Naturally, it is not as simple as that. Obviously, Leo was wrong to start a relationship with a fifteen year old girl he had no intention or possibility of marrying. Leo had to know that he was basically ruining young Dumas' chances of getting married or finding a place for herself in the colonial French society. At the same time, Leo gave her money to travel back to France and to get away from Indochina. So, in a way Leo  helped Dumas escape and build a new life for herself. After their separation, she was alone for years. Despite not telling Leo that she loved him, Marguerite must have felt it. Young Duras seemed to sense, right from the start, that their relationship was doomed, that he would never marry her, that they would never be together. Young Duras avoids speaking about emotions with him, asks of Leo to treat her like other women (another defense mechanism perhaps). Was young Marguerite already beginning her transformation into writer Duras? This adolescent waif that surrendered to blows of life but remained unbroken at its core. An artist in the making. 

Ne opravdavam Lea, ali smatram da je dirljivo što su očito jedno drugom značili mnogo. Pogotovo ako se uzme u obzir da su osjećaji koji su Marguerite i Leo imali jedno prema drugome trajali cijeli život. Na neki način teško je ne vidjeti njihov odnos kao trijumf protiv rasizma. Naravno, nije sve tako jednostavno. Očito je da je Leo pogriješio što je započeo vezu s petnaestogodišnjom djevojkom koju nije imao namjeru ni mogućnost oženiti. Leo je morao znati da on u osnovi uništava izglede mlade Dumas da se uda ili nađe mjesto za sebe u kolonijalnom francuskom društvu. U isto vrijeme, Leo joj je dao novac da se vrati u Francusku i da pobjegne iz Indokine. Dakle, Leo je na neki način pomogao mladoj Dumas da pobjegne i izgradi novi život za sebe. Nakon njihova rastanka godinama je bila sama. Unatoč tome što Leu nije rekla da ga voli, Marguerite je to sigurno osjetila. Čini se da je mlada Duras od samog početka osjećala da je njihova veza osuđena na propast, svjesna da se  nikada ne bi oženio njom, da nikada neće biti zajedno. Mlada Duras izbjegava s njim razgovarati o emocijama, traži od Lea da se prema njoj ponaša kao prema drugim ženama (možda još jedan obrambeni mehanizam). Je li mlada Marguerite već započela svoju transformaciju u spisateljicu Duras? Ova adolescentna skitnica koja se predala udarcima života, ali je ostala neslomljena u svojoj srži. Umjetnik u nastajanju.

Was Duras really so wise beyond her years? At time it seems so. It seems that living with a mentally ill mother has made her more emphatic and wise beyond her years. There were other factors such as Dumas' older brother, an abusive narcissist under whose shadow they all trembled. A petty small time criminal whose victims were his family members. All of this must have contributed to making her a survivor that she was. I read once that people who grow up with narcissistic parents can be very intuitive because it's almost a survival instinct for them. Abuse victims sometimes read people easily- it is a skill they acquired to be able to survive. Did Duras perhaps read Leo and vice versa? Did they recognize the abused in themselves? Was it love at the first sight? It's a lot of questions, but again that is what I like about this novel. It invokes questions and meditations.

Je li Duras doista bila tako mudra u mlaim godinama, svojevrsna stara duša? Ponekad se tako čini. Čini se da ju je život s mentalno bolesnom majkom učinio više empatičnom i mudrijom od svojih godina. Postojali su i drugi čimbenici kao što je njezin stariji brat, zlostavljač i narcis pod čijom su sjenom svi drhtali. Sitni mali kriminalac čije su žrtve bili članovi njegove obitelji. Sve je to moralo pridonijeti tome da je postala osoba koja miže preživjeti. Jednom sam pročitala kako ljudi koji odrastaju s narcisoidnim roditeljima mogu biti vrlo intuitivni jer im je to gotovo instinkt za preživljavanje. Žrtve zlostavljanja ponekad lako čitaju ljude - to je vještina koju su stekli da bi mogli preživjeti. Je li Duras možda pročitaka Lea ori prvom susretu i obrnuto? Jesu li u sebi prepoznali zlostavljane osobe? Je li to bila ljubav na prvi pogled? Puno je pitanja, ali opet, to je ono što mi se sviđa u ovom romanu. Poziva na pitanja i meditacije.

Dumas doesn't idolize her first love and relationship. However, I had a feeling that Marguerite feels guilty for not loving Leo more, for not standing up for him. Reading this book, one sees Marguerite feeling guilty for not defending Leo, for not speaking against the racial attitudes of the time (that are unfortunately still present as we can still witness Asian phobia and racially motivated violence).  As an educator, I found myself heart-broken over the way this young adolescent girl was treated by her family and the society.  I wanted to tell her not to feel guilty. For really, what could have Marguerite done under the circumstances? Even if she had told Leo that she loved him, even if she had asked him to marry her, even if she had defended him in front of her family, she probably would have been able to change the racism of those times. Marguerite lived her life the best she could and loved Leo as much as a  fifteen year old girl could have done. I think she was very fair in the way she wrote about Leo- the lover.

"Because he doesn't know how to speak abut himself. I speak in his stead. Instead of him. Since he doesn't know that he posses, within himself, a profound grace, I say it instead of him. "

Dumas ne idealizira svoju prvu ljubav i vezu. Međutim, imala sam osjećaj da se Marguerite osjeća krivom što nije više voljela Lea, što se nije zauzela za njega. Čitajući ovu knjigu, vidi se da se Marguerite osjeća krivom što nije branila Lea, što nije govorila protiv rasnih stavova tog vremena (koji su nažalost još uvijek prisutni jer još uvijek možemo svjedočiti azijofobiji i rasno motiviranom nasilju). Kao prosvjetni djelatnik, slomljena sam  zbog načina na koji se prema ovoj mladoj adolescentici odnosila njezina obitelj i društvo. Htjela sam joj reći da se ne osjeća krivom. Zapravo, što je Marguerite mogla učiniti u tim okolnostima? Čak i da je rekla Leu da ga voli, čak i da ga je zamolila da se oženi njome, čak i da ga je branila pred svojom obitelji, vjerojatno bi uspjela promijeniti rasizam tih vremena. Marguerite je živjela svoj život najbolje što je mogla i voljela Lea onoliko koliko je to mogla učiniti petnaestogodišnja djevojčica. Mislim da je bila vrlo poštena u načinu na koji je pisala o Leu- ljubavniku.

"Jer on o sebi ne zna govoriti. Ja govorim za njega. Umjesto njega. Budući da ne zna kako u sebi posjeduje dubinsku otmjenost, ja to kažem za njega. "

Thank you for reading. Hvala na čitanju.