Macbeth (First outfit of the year/ Prva odjevna kombinacija godine)

Why is it that today of all days, I had this urge to pick up Macbeth again? Perhaps to fight off my superstition. Not about the play itself, I'm not inside of a theatre (nor was I when these photos were taken) so the famous Macbeth course doesn't apply here. You, the reader of this blog, are probably not inside of a theatre either, but if you are, I leave it to you to decide will you or not believe in the Scottish curse. No it is not about Macbeth, my superstition hasn't anything to do with this play. What is it about then? I suppose that one can find explanation for everything, if one thinks long enough. I think I understand why I had the need to pick up this play after all. To reminded myself that not all is set in stone. To remind myself that fate is what we make of it. Some might say- but isn't Macbeth about how our fate is determined? Well, that is one way of reading it. Not my way. I believe that the personal tragedy of Macbeth was avoidable. I believe we always have a choice, even if sometimes that choice is restricted to choosing lesser of two evils.

Zašto baš danas, od svih dana, imam potrebu ponovo uzeti Macbetha u ruke? Možda kako bi se othrvala praznovjerju. Ne o samoj drami, nisam unutar kazališta (niti sam bila kada su ove slike uslikane) tako da poznata škotska kletva ovdje ne vrijedi. Ti, moj čitatelju, vjerojatno nisi u kazalištu, a ako jesi, na tebi je hoćeš li u nju vjerovati.   Ne, ovdje se ne radi o Macbethu, moje praznovjerje nema ništa s ovom dramom? O čemu se onda radi? Izgleda da je za sve moguće naći objašnjenje ako se o tome dovoljno duga razmišlja, pa tako mi se čini da sam se domislila zašto sam željela uzeti baš ovu knjigu u ruke. Da se podsjetim da nije sve zapisano u kameno. Da se podsjetim da je sudbina ono što od nje napravimo. Neki bi mogli reći pa zar nije Macbeth o tome kako je naša sudbina određena? To je jedan način čitanja ovoga djela, ali moj nije. Ne vjerujem da se osobna tragedija Macbetha nije mogla izbjeći. Vjerujem da uvijek imamo izbor, čak i ako je taj izbor ponekad ograničen na izbor između dva manja zla.

“To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”

William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts! Unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top full
Of direst cruelty; make thick my blood,
Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
The effect and it! Come to my woman’s breasts,
And take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers,
Wherever in your sightless substances
You wait on nature’s mischief! Come, thick night,
And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell,
That my keen knife see not the wound it makes,
Nor Heaven peep through the blanket of the dark,
To cry "Hold, hold!”

I have always loved the first day of the new year. To feel filled with positive thoughts on this day seemed natural to me. However, today I feel more confused than motivated. When I think of this year, I have no idea how things will going to develop and quite frankly it scares me. I have plans and ideas, but that's about it. I feel like I don't have set course and I certainly don't feel like I'm on the right path. Hence, today I need that kind of comfort that (sometimes) great literature can offer.  I can't say that I ever believed that how we lived the first day of the new year determined our life that year, but I was always of a belief that it couldn't help to be positive. Certainly, looking forward to the year is something we should do? Everyone is filled with good wishes. The vibe in the air is that of a hope and joy. A bit of joy goes a long way. But what if joy eludes us? What if we are more concerned than joyful? Then we take a big breath....or go out for a walk. That's how these photographs ended up being taken. The book I carried with me is no accident, for part of what makes me worry today is this feeling that something bad is about to happen. I needed this play to be reminded about the futility of prescience. Intuition can be misleading for the future is never certain. Were the witches responsible for Macbeth's crime? Or was it his wife? Or was it himself? The more I think about it, the more I have this feeling that we are all more powerful than we would like to believe. Every act, gesture and uttered word, everything we do affects not only others but ourselves. Don't we all sometimes get visited by witches? Don't we all have our ambitions, motivations, fears? Don't our fears something make us see things that aren't there? Is it possible that sometimes nightmares come to life because we let them? What does it mean to take destiny at one's hand? Does it mean to be willing to do anything to get what we want? That is what Macbeth believed and well, it didn't work out well for him. I trust this is not a spoiler, I mean everyone knows that Macbeth is a tragedy.

Uvijek sam voljela prvi dan nove godine. Biti ispunjen pozitivnim mislima na ovaj dan mi se uvijek činilo prirodnim. No, danas se osjećam više zbunjenom nego motiviranom. Kada razmišljam o ovoj godini, nemam pojma kako će se stvari razvijati i iskreno to me plaši. Imam planove i ideje, ali to je to. Nemam osjećaj kretanja u nekom smjeru, a svakako nemam ni osjećaj da se krećem u pravom smjeru. Tako da mi danas treba ona utjeha koju (ponekad) velika književnost zna dati. Ne mogu reći da sam ikada vjerovala da to kako proživimo prvi dan prve godine određuje naš život te godine, ali sam uvijek mislila da je dobro biti pozitivan na taj dan. Svakako radovati se toj godini je nešto što bismo trebali raditi? Svi si čestitaju. Atmosfera u zraku je puna nade i radosti. Malo radosti čini puno razlike. No, što ako nam radost bježi? Što ako smo više zabrinuti nego radosni? Onda, udahnemo duboko..ili odemo u šetnju. Tako su ove slike nastale. Knjiga koju sam ponijela sa sobom nije bila slučajnost, jer dio onoga što me zabrinjava danas je taj neki loš predosjećaj. Trebala mi je ova drama da se podsjetim zašto je vidovitost uzaludna. Intuicija može odvesti na krivi trag, a budućnost nije nikad određena. Jesu li vještice bile odgovorne za zločin Macbetha? Ili je to bila njegova žena? Ili on sam? Što više razmišljam o tome, čini mi se da smo puno moćniji nego što bi voljeli vjerovati. Svaki čin, gesta i izrečena riječ, sve što radimo, utječe ne samo na druge, nego i nas same. Zar i nas ponekad ne posjećuju vještice? Zar nemamo svi svoje ambicije, motivacije i strahove? Zar nas naši strahovi ponekad ne navedu da vidimo stvari koje nisu tu?  Je li moguće da se naše more ponekad ostvare jer mi to dopustimo? Što to znači preuzeti sudbinu u naše ruke?  Znači li to biti spreman poduzeti bilo što da bismo dobili ono što želimo? To je ono što je Macbeth vjerovao i stvari za njega nisu dobro završile.  Mislim da nisam nikome pokvarila kraj  jer čak i ako niste čitali sigurno znate da je Macbeth tragedija.

“Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell.
Though all things foul would wear the brows of grace,
Yet Grace must still look so.”

.....

“Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red.”

.....

“Your face, my thane, is as a book where men
May read strange matters. To beguile the time,
Look like the time; bear welcome in your eye,
Your hand, your tongue: look like the innocent flower,
But be the serpent under't.”
 William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“I have almost forgotten the taste of fears: The time has been, my senses would have cool’d to hear a night-shriek; and my fell of hair would at a dismal treatise rouse and stir as life were in’t: I have supt full with horrors; Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts, cannot once start me.”

........

“They met me in the day of success: and I have
learned by the perfectest report, they have more in
them than mortal knowledge. When I burned in desire
to question them further, they made themselves air,
into which they vanished. Whiles I stood rapt in
the wonder of it, came missives from the king, who
all-hailed me 'Thane of Cawdor;' by which title,
before, these weird sisters saluted me, and referred
me to the coming on of time, with 'Hail, king that
shalt be!' This have I thought good to deliver
thee, my dearest partner of greatness, that thou
mightst not lose the dues of rejoicing, by being
ignorant of what greatness is promised thee. Lay it
to thy heart, and farewell.”




“Innocent sleep. Sleep that soothes away all our worries. Sleep that puts each day to rest. Sleep that relieves the weary laborer and heals hurt minds. Sleep, the main course in life's feast, and the most nourishing.”
 William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”

I'm not embarrassed of the bad condition this book was it. Not just because it was vintage when I bought it, but because I think it is a good sign when our books are in a bad state. Books worn out from reading- that's the natural order of things. I'm sure that books are happy (metaphorically speaking) when they become worn out because it means they did their job well. This particular edition was published in 1965, so that makes it 51 years old. I like it because it preserves the original form of the play, I'm not a fan of modernized editions of classics. Anyhow, I bought this book in one very special second hand bookstore in Split years ago and since then I read it countless times. I'm the sort of person that gets attached to things, be it books, clothes or shoes. Call me sentimental, but I will never be a typical shoppingholic. I don't buy things just to buy them, I buy them so we could create stories together.

Nije mi neugodno zbog toga što je ova knjiga u lošem stanju. Ne samo zato jer je bila vintage kada sam je kupila, već i stoga što vjerujem da je dobar znak kada su nam knjige u lošem stanju. Knjige koje se raspadaju jer su toliko puta pročitate, pa to je prirodan poredak stvari. Sigurna sam da su metaforički rečeno knjige zadovoljne kada dođu do toga stanja jer to znači da su dobro odradile svoj posao. Ovo izdanje je objavljeno 1965. tako da je ova knjiga ima 51 godinu. Meni se sviđa jer čuva originalnu formu drame, nisam neki ljubitelj modernih izmjena klasika. Kako god, kupila sam ovu knjigu u Splitu kod Joze ( to je jedan jakooo poseban antikvarijat) prije puno godina i od tada sam je pročitala bezbroj puta. Ja sam onaj tip osobe koji se veže za stvari, pa bile to knjige, odjeća ili cipele. Nazovite me sentimentalnom, ali barem nikad neću biti tipičan ovisnik o kupovini. Ne kupujem stvari samo da bi kupila, kupujem ih kako bi zajedno mogli stvoriti neku priču.

“I have done no harm. But I remember now I am in this earthly world, where to do harm is often laudable, to do good sometime accounted dangerous folly.”

All the clothes I'm wearing here tells a story. Red cap? Gift from a dear friend. Childhood friend actually. Friendships that have lasted that long feel like family. Infinity Scarf? Gift from my sister- in -law. Bag? It is a gift from my husband. So is the coat, the jeans and the shoes. It is a just a casual outfit, but to me it has special meaning. Just like this book. To me it tells a story. By telling me a story, it inspired me to tell stories....and that's a good thing, right?

Sva odjeća koju ovdje nosim priča priču. Crvena kapica? Dar od drage prijateljice. Prijateljice iz djetinjstva. Prijateljstva koja su trajala tako dugo stvaraju osjećaj obitelji. Šal u obliku kruga? Dar nevjeste. Torba? Poklon moga muža. Kao što je i kaput, traperice i cipele. To je samo ležerna kombinacija, ali za mene ima posebno značenje. Kao i ova knjiga. Meni priča priču. Time što priča priču, nadahnjuje me da pričam priče...a to je dobro, zar ne?

Let's talk about Macbeth for a second. My fascination with this play dates way back. Interestingly enough, it was a theatre poster that made me want to see this play so badly. A theatre poster depicting lady Macbeth. I'm not sure whether it was an illustration or a very artistic photograph, but the actress that was depicted (the one playing lady Macbeth) looked so mysterious and beautiful that I was sure that I must see the play. At the time, my parents decided that I was too young to see the play. I don't remember exactly  how old I was, but I was younger than 10 so perhaps they were right. I doubt I would have been able to grasp the complexity of this play back then, so they were probably right. A few years after that, I read Macbeth. Many many years later I read all of Shakespeare's plays. Macbeth has remained my personal favourite. I usually hate when somebody asks me what my favourite work of a certain writer is, but when it comes to Shakespeare I can answer that question without giving it a second thought. My second favourite by Shakespeare?  Let's leave that for some other time, shall we? I'll just say that I prefer his tragedies to his comedies.

Pričajmo malo o Macbethu. Moja fasciniranost ovom dramom datira u (barem za mene) davnu prošlost. Zanimljivo, ono što me je navelo da toliko želim pogledati ovu predstavu bio je kazališni plakat. Nisam sigurna je li se radilo o ilustraciji ili vrlo umjetničkoj fotografiji, ali glumica koja je bila prikazana (ona koja je glumila lady Macbeth) izgledala je tako misteriozno i lijepo da sam bila sigurna da želim pogledati ovu dramu. Moji roditelji nisu se dali nagovoriti i zaključili su da sam premlada da bi gledala predstavu, što je zapravo i bila istina, jer sam bila mlađa od deset godina i sigurno je ne bih znala shvatiti u toj dobi. Par godina kasnije pročitala sam Macbetha. Puno puno godina kasnije pročitala sam sve Shakespearove drame. Macbeth mi je bio i ostao najdraže njegovo djelo. Obično mrzim kada me netko pita koje mi je najdraže djelo određenoga pisca, ali kada se radi o Shakespeare mogu na to pitanje odgovoriti bez da se zamislim. Moje drugo najdraže djelo? Ostavimo to za neki drugi put. Samo ću reći da su mi draže njegove tragedije nego drame.

“To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
― William Shakespeare, Macbeth   

Why shouldn't I read Macbeth today? A sad play it is, but not a depressive one. Great art is never depressing. True literature feeds and heals the soul. Sometimes our soul needs healing. It need to know that there is hope. It needs to know that, but it also needs to know that things aren't easy. That we will be tempted. That we will do wrong. But we are not powerless pawns in the hands of fate. Unless we decide to be. Unless we settle for less. Sometimes simple things can do wonders for us, sometimes little pleasure can lift our spirit high. However, at times we need to dig deeper.  We need to do be a bit of soul searching. We need to figure out what we want. Either way, we need to keep going. I wish you all a fantastic 2017!

Zašto ne bi čitala Macbetha danas? Tužna je to drama, ali nije depresivna. Velika umjetnost nikad nije depresivna. Istinska književnost grani i liječi život. Ponekad našoj duši treba lijek. Treba joj znanje da ima nade. Treba to znati, ali treba i znati da stvari nisu lake. Da ćemo dolaziti u napast. Da ćemo griješiti. No nismo bespomoćni pijuni u rukama sudbine. Osim ako to ne odlučimo. Osim ako se ne zadovoljimo s manje. Ponekad nam male stvari mogu promijeniti raspoloženje, ponekad mala zadovoljstva mogu podignuti naš duh. No, ponekad moramo se malo više potruditi. Moramo istražiti predjele svoje duše. Moramo razmisliti o tome što zaista želimo. Kako god, uvijek moramo nastaviti ići. Želim vam svima fantastičnu 2017!

“There's nothing serious in mortality;
All is but toys; renown, and grace, is dead;
The wine of life is drawn, and the mere lees
Is left this vault to brag of.”

“I have done no harm. But I remember now I am in this earthly world, where to do harm is often laudable, to do good sometime accounted dangerous folly.”

Macbeth

scarf/šal: accessorizes, coat/kaput: Tally Weijl,jeans/traperice: piazza Italia, the rest/ostalo: not branded/nije markirano

“But cruel are the times, when we are traitors,
And do not know ourselves; when we hold rumour
From what we fear, yet know not what we fear,
But float upon a wild and violent sea
Each way and none....”

William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“Wisdom! To leave his wife, to leave his babes,
His mansion and his titles, in a place
From whence himself does fly? He loves us not.
He wants the natural touch; for the poor wren,
The most diminutive of birds, will fight,            
Her young ones in her nest, against the owl.
All is the fear and nothing is the love,
As little is the wisdom, where the flight
So runs against all reason....”

Thank you for reading and visiting!