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Good morning sorrow/ Dobro jutro tugo

kemijska, kava, vodene boje na papiru

pencil, water colours, coffee on paper

'Good morning sorrow, where have you been for so long?' about a decade ago, an colleague of mine greeted me with those words. To understand the context you'll have to know that those are the opening lyrics of a well know Croatian ballad. In his case, it was a probably just a joke, as his next words to me were: 'Come on, when was the last time someone greeted you with a song?'  Nowadays, those words 'Good morning sorrow' always remind me of a title of a well know French novel Bonjour Tristesse. If you're asking where I am going with all this, bare with me a moment (or don't... no one is forcing you to read this) as I usually do get to my point eventually.

Sagan wrote it when she was only 18 and the novel was an instant success. When I read it, I though it was quite good (especially being written by someone that young) but I wondered whether some of the hype surrounding the novel had to do with the author's age. Why was I so skeptical I wonder now? The feelings are real enough, no matter what our age may be. Was I mistrustful to someone's writing because I didn't think them experienced enough? Why is experience something we as a society both treasure and abhor? or even worse... Do I think that counting years on our life's calendar is an accomplishment on it own?

Anyhow, I felt reassured at my past judgement when I've read another novel by Sagan. Scars on the Soul seemed to me so much more perfect and mature than her first novel. I thought...well, here she is fulfilling  her potential as a writer. I still think it is a brilliant novel. Nevertheless, I must wonder why a part of me feels so skeptical towards youth and its tragedies? ( It's really humbling when one thinks that Mary Shelley was only 20 when her novel Frankenstein was published.) Sorrow is sorrow and often past sorrows are not a thing of the past at all. Are the sorrows of our early years less meaningful or perhaps more?

Sometimes they are more, sometimes less...and as much as the present is important, the past is always a part of us...and sometimes we live only to try to rewrite it as Kundera and Orwell both noticed. Bonjour Triestesse has a very tragic ending, one that foreshadows much sadness. Why are our sorrows so important to us? What would then growing old be? Perfecting our sorrow? Researching our grief? If Petrarca (Petrarch if you must anglicize it) has married Laura, he wouldn't had changed the history of literature. It was his sadness that made him write sonnets that had changed the way we perceive poetry forever. Must it always be this way I wonder? Must we choose between leaving our mark in material or immaterial word? Must we be sad to be able to write good songs or poems? Must we lose our loved ones to realize what they mean to us?

It so happens that a lot of people asked me why am I so sad lately.  I don't have an answer to that question at least not an innovative one. I'm sad for the same reasons I'm usually sad about...and for very much the same reasons everyone is sad really. If I wanted to be banal, I could say I'm sad because I'm not happy. Sometimes it seems to me that sadness has become a way of life for me. Perhaps it is a way it should be. Life has taught me that ignoring sadness is unwise for she usually has some valid points. My sorrows are as much a part of me as my joys, perhaps even more so. Both the past and the present ones. I'm not sure why, but feeling sad always makes me feel creative....and that finally brings me to my point. Another illustration...I could say it is a sketch of a necklace (something I've been working on recently) but I'm not sure it is...I think I'm searching for something when I drew these faces...Perhaps I am really trying to ask: Sadness, where have you been for so long?


  1. bella la frase estratta dalla canzone! non ho letto il romanzo francese di cui parli, mi piacerebbe molto.
    purtroppo capitano momenti in cui siamo tristi, c'è sempre un motivo dietro
    anche a me la tristezza rende creativa e anche io avrei detto fosse un bozzetto di una collana

  2. Non l'ho letta nemmeno io! Dai che passa!

  3. Replies
    1. No, devo ammettere che non sapevo di colori pantone ... mi piacerebbe provarle.

  4. Dear Ivana, I think you have really good reasons to be sad! And how good that you admit your sadness because like you I believe that every sadness has a message. I remember so well the times in my life when I was really really sad for a long time. And afterwards I can say (and I know it for sure) that this time were absolutely important for me, my personality and my own development. If I wouldn't have sad I weren't at this point were I'm at the moment. I wish you with all my heart that you will get what is important for you through this period in which you are at the moment. And I understand your thoughts regarding the young age of the author of "Bonjour Tristesse" very well :) I think I thought the same when I heard this novel (this is one of the very few books which I didn't read but listened via hear book). And for sure the illustration is great!

    Wish you only the best my dear friend <3

    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena

    1. thank you so much for your comment Rena...and I completely agree with you:)

  5. itsnormal to feel this way just our way to realise that life has alot to offer. so dont worry it will pass.

  6. Well, emotions can be overwhelming but i won't wish you or anyone sadness because of the pain that comes with it. That said, it is okay to feel and be in touch with our feelings but hopefully happiness will feel that void. Happiness is always a much better feeling. Nice illustration sweetheart.

    1. thank you darling...that is pretty much what I's better to be in contact with our emotions than to ignore them even when they're not that pleasant.

  7. Mislim da sam ti vec jednom napisala da sam pobornica one " lijepim osjecajima se stvara losa knjizevnost" tako da mislim da smo taj dio odmah rijesile...Tuga je tuga, imao ti tri ili pedeset i tri, mozda je jedina razlika u mogucnosti i sposobnosti izrazavanja iste na van...
    Neizmjerno cijenim iskrenost u ljudi i ako ti se ne smije, ne moras se smijati.Slazem se da te bolni trenuci u zivotu neizmjerno oblikuju i stvore od tebe osobu koja ces postojati. Mislim takodjer da zahvaljujuci boli mozemo spoznati istinsku srecu kada je dohvatimo. Ima jedna od Hansa Kunga a kaze "Ljubav bozja ne stiti od boli, nego stiti u boli." Od srca ti zelim puno te ljubavi i vjerujem da ce na kraju sve biti dobro! :*

  8. I prije nego sam pročitala tekst sam pomislila kako je dama na ilustraciji nekako tužna, iako je divna... Ne znam zašto si tužna, ali nadam se da ćeš zamijeniti taj osjećaj nekim sretnijim emocijama! Često se mladi ignoriraju jer nemaju iskustva, iako neki ljudi puno toga prožive u svojim mladim godinama, više nego neki u cijelom svom životu...

  9. Znaš kako se smatra da su sve velike stvari nastale iz neke tuge, gubitka i sličnog. Ja sam neko ko se jako trudi da budi srećan bez obzira na probleme i ostale stvari ali nije tako uvek bilo. Baš sam sa tih 18 godina ja bila ta koja je bila nekako tužna, sad mi se čini bez pravog razloga. Razumem i predrasude o godinama i književnosti, i sam bih pomislila isto a verovatno nije fer. Mogla bih da se raspišem ovde ali neki drugi put. Ipak želim ti da ne budeš tužna, koliko god ta tuga bila kreativna. Crtež i ogrlica su savršeni.

  10. Lovely illustration! I adore how you used coffee as a medium... that's pretty darn innovative of you. And I bet it smells nice, too, now, hahaha! :)

    Hmmmm, this is a good question about whether the young people inside of us suffer more than the old ones. I mean part of me wants to say the younger parts of us do suffer just because it may be our first time being exposed to whatever hurts us, but then when we are older we realize how to cope or deal with it better than when we were younger. Still so thought provoking, though!

  11. Your work is amazing dear ! <3


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All your comments mean a lot to me, even the criticism. Naravno da mi puno znači što ste uzeli vrijeme da nešto napišete, pa makar to bila i kritika. Per me le vostre parole sono sempre preziose anche quando si tratta di critiche.

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