Asking the right kind of questions (it is time for a body perception talk) / Pitanje pravih pitanja (vrijeme je za priču o percepciji tijela)

Recently I wrote a post (here) where I explained why I initially hesitated to write about body perception but decided that I need to do it anyway. Yes, I was getting pretty tired of all that 'body' talk. I was getting tired of hearing how everyone finally managed to embrace their body. I was thinking, yes, that's great, but why I have to be hearing about it all the time? Why don't I ever hear stories about people who managed to increase their IQ? Why I don't hear stories about people who learned how to accept some personality traits of theirs? How they learned to embrace and understand people whose personality is different that theirs? Then I realized that I was wrong. I was wrong to ignore this subject. Because there is this burning issue with body perception and we can't just ignore it. It is something that is having a huge impact on everyone. That got me thinking.

All those movements for body positive perception may actually be needed. On the other hand, I do think we shouldn't define ourselves by the way we look. I felt like a lot of stuff that was being called body positive was in fact body obsessed.  So, I wasn't sure what to think when it comes to the need to talk about body perception. It is pretty obvious why we should never ever ever define ourselves solely on a basis of certain physical characters- for start it is incredibly limiting. We're more than bodies, everyone should be able to agree. That's all fine as a statement but I realized I can't just leave it at that. Because there were all these issues my mind kept referring me back to.

As much as I believe that we're often asking the wrong kind of questions and that we primarily need to identify ourselves as complex creatures that have intellectual, emotional and creative needs, I've grown to realize that we do need to talk about body perception. We need to start asking the right kind of questions. Understanding that this is a complex question is a good place to start. If people need to do whatever they need to do to accept their bodies, let them do it. I mean as long as what they are doing is legal and they are not harming anyone else. Let's be a bit more understanding towards each other and a bit less judgmental. Let's be wise enough to realize that the connections between our body and our personality are often quite complex and are not something that can easily be ignored.

Today I'm sharing some of those thoughts and questions that have been on my mind lately. So, here is a quick list of questions and answers, that will be followed by a longer essay in which I plan to clarify my present thoughts concerning this topic. The essay part will be very long, so to get the main points, you can read the pink part. (In the meantime I elaborated on the pink part, so I don't know what to say to you now because since the pink text has been updated it is quite long now. If you want a very quick summary it would sound something like this: 'It is never alright to criticize anyone's body (including your own). Your body is the only one you're going to get, so take care of it but don't forget there are others things in this world apart from that '. That was pretty short, wasn't it? Don't say I can't summarize things.:)

- Why is it never o.k to criticize someone for the way they look?

Because the way people look is up to 80  percent determined by their genetics. We don't have a complete control over the way we look. Everyone's body is a complex biological mechanism. Yes, it is possible to alter our appearance with a series of procedures, but some things can never be changed and many people end up messing their health playing with diets and what not.  Let us ask ourselves why we should feel we need to change anything in the first place? Why do we define ourselves by our looks? If a pack of chimpanzee can treasure one other for their intelligence and survival skills, why can we? If birds can choose their males according to the art exhibition they put forward (I'm not making this up, there is an actual bird spices that does this, the males prepare an art exhibition composed of various installations and the females pick the most creative ones for their mate). If animals can cherish other characteristic besides the body and the physical appearance, why can't we? 

To conclude, we may not control our looks, but we do have a control over our thoughts and our moral development. We should try to develop as healthy  relationship with our bodies as we can. I happen to think that we should nurture a natural and positive relationship not just towards our own body but towards the bodies of others. I'm pretty sure that people who feel need to criticize other bodies have some hidden issues. It simply can't be normal to hate someone for the way they look. It makes no sense. No sense whatsoever. It makes no sense to assume that someone's personality, work ethics or morals can be connected with their weight.

- Why we shouldn't hate our bodies? 

Because this is never a healthy thing to do. Because our body is not something we can choose. We are born into it and we should take as good care of it as we can. We shouldn't feel guilty if for some reason we don't have the time to look the way a professional bodybuilder looks like. If you just take a look at professional athletes, you will see that they too come in all shapes and sizes (just like regular people). Sport is not just about bodies, it is about passion, dedication and to some extent- even talent. Many famous athletes have had and still have serious health problems. Their bodies are not perfect and they know it but they don't care about it because they know that the spirit is just as important. We should understand it too. There are other things besides the body. Ironically, a lot of people take better care of their cars then their bodies. They take their cars to mechanics regularly, observe it carefully for any signs of malfunction and yet at the same time they completely ignore the signals coming from their own bodies. We live in a time when everyone is obsessed with the perfect bodies, but people still don't feel comfortable listening to their bodies. They prefer pain killers to doctors appointments, they dread hospitals and are terribly afraid of any illness. 

The moral of the story? Hating our body won't get us anywhere. Completely ignoring it is not a good idea either. The reason why we shouldn't hate our bodies is simply because we can't do without them- in this world anyway. Nobody invented a way to transfer our brains into computers yet. Our bodies need us and we need our bodies. It is true we can't choose them, but we can love them and we can remember to keep in mind all the things we can choose. We  can choose what kind of person we will become. We can better ourselves by making the correct moral choices. We can lower ourselves by making the wrong kind of choices. We can cut ourselves from others with our actions. We can open ourselves towards others with our actions. Either way, we can neither control will someone like us or not, nor will someone find us attractive or not. No matter what your health status is, no matter what your size is, or how different you might feel you look from everyone else, you should never feel like you're not worthy of love. If you know how to love others, you're worthy of love. End of story. 

- Why do we need to stop confusing obesity and anorexia with body types?

Because it is dangerous to confuse the two. Obesity is not a body type. Some obese people say it is but it is not.  If someone is obese, it is not because they have a certain body type. It is either because they have a serious health problem of some kind or because they don't have a good correlation between their calorie intake and the amount of calories they're spending. Genetics can also play a part in obesity, but it is important to understand that obesity is nothing something that is completely determined by genetics. Obesity is a serious problem, it causes various health problems and often  it  kills people. Not that this fact gives anyone a permission to criticize obese people for the way they look. 

Fat shaming won't help anyone to fight their obesity (that is my opinion anyway and I already explained my point of view when I answered the first question). Similarly, if someone is anorexic, it is not a body type. Criticizing naturally thin people for being thin and convincing them they need to gain weight to be healthy is crazy. A lot of people criticize others because they have a certain body type. Having a fuller body type doesn't mean that someone is overweight. I don't know why it is so hard for people to understand there are different body types. It is elementary biology. Human species has involved to be diverse. There is such a thing as diversity between animals as well. Recently, I watched a documentary about a chimpanzee alpha male that formed the largest ever pack of chimpanzees. That guy was tiny, he was a lot smaller than any other male chimpanzee in the pack, yet he rose to rule them all. If chimpanzees can figure out that intelligence has nothing to do with size,  why can us humans? Why do we have to cast judgement based on the way someone looks all the time? 

To be frank, I think that many people went out their own frustrations in disguise of  'trying to help'. People body shame slim and skinny people on daily basis, telling them they need to put on weight or telling them they look anorexic. You can see this on the example of perfectly healthy people who happen to be naturally thin. Often they're criticized for promoting anorexia and so on. Are people who are criticized them really concerned for their health or they're just venting out their frustrations? Most likely the latter. The same applies to fat shaming that is also very present, especially in the media. Often people whose weight is normal and whose IBM is perfectly healthy are being called fat and 'bad role-models'. Many women starve themselves and cause themselves health problems because they falsely believe they're overweight. Not having a tie gap doesn't mean you're overweight, ladies. Having hips is normal. Most women have them. I don't see why hips are suddenly a health hazard. Women whose body types create an illusion of 'fullness' and 'roundness' are constantly being questioned for what they eat and how they behave. This situation is really getting out of control. As much as I do feel there is too much emphasis put on body perception these days, I'm afraid it is being talk about in all the wrong ways. That basically means we don't have enough body perception talk. Body positive movements are great, but we really need to really get to the core of this problem.

 There are many stereotypes that attach themselves to the way people look. Perhaps we will never combat them all, but there are things that we as society can do. We can stop saying hurtful things to complete strangers. We need to stop pretending we know everything about everyone. You can't always tell is someone is overweight or underweight by looking at them. Even if you are a psychologist or a physician, you are likely to do some tests before you come to a certain solution. Doctor use a complex set of procedure to arrive at a certain diagnosis. If doctors, with all their training and education, need time and a series of text to establish someone's health status, why do we feel like we can make those kind of judgement in a blink of an eye? We can't, it is not that simple. I often hear doctors say that every patient is different. When I did my check ups last time, that was what my doctor was trying to explain to the young students. Every case is different. Every body is different. That's not so bad. It just means we have to keep an open mind. Doctors understand this. Their job is largely based on following (medical) procedures, yet they do understand the need for creative thinking. Why can we more like them? Why can't we realize their is nothing wrong with being unique? 

  ART UPDATE

 SEE MORE OF MY ART

INTERESTING TIPS I FOUND ONLINE FOR PROTECTING YOUR ART AND PHOTOS AGAINST AI

FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: MY SELECTION published on 24th of February.

AUTUMN AND WINTER INSPIRATION and published on 7th of October.

MORE LINKS TO POSTS ABOUT FASHION ILLUSTRATING 

 DIGITAL RETOUCHING WITH PAINT 3D,  LADY IN A LILAC DRESS and BALL PAINT FASHION ILLUSTRATION. 

FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: WATERCOLOUR PENCILS -IVANA'S FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY- FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: INSPIRED BY COLOURS OF AUTUMN- A GIRL IN A RED GOWN: FASHION ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY-CUSTOMIZING A NOTEBOOK WITH A FASHION ILLUSTRATION- FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: ILLUSTRATING A BLACK DRESS FROM DOLCE & GABBANA COLLECTION- 10 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR FASHION ILLUSTRATION SKILLS- HOW TO CREATE A 3D FASHION ILLUSTRATION DRESS WITH DRY FLOWERS?- FRIDAY FASHION ILLUSTRATION: HAT OBSESSED -FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY INSPIRED BY SUMMER STYLE- FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: SUMMER TO AUTUMN TRANSITION- FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: ILLUSTRATED TOTE BAGS-FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: HAT OBSESSED - FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: NEW AUTUMN INSPIRED ART FASHION ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY: MY INSPIRATIONS

.........

Casting judgement based on the way people look is wrong. For example, there are many reasons why someone might look or be skinny. First of all, it might be a genetic thing. Secondly, they might be tall. What makes tall people tall are longer extremities. So, tall people usually have longer extremities thus they appear thinner. Thirdly, they might have a health problem, for example IBS disease of some sort that makes it impossible for them to gain weight.  What if they really do have anorexia? They might actually be a recovered anorexic who will never be able to put weight on because their body has been thus far affected by the disease. They might be someone who is suffering from anorexia at that moment. If that is the case, how exactly will making them feel bad about their body help? Do you really think that a person who is suffering from such a difficult and complex illness as anorexia needs insults and body shamming from perfect strangers? As if that is going to help. On the other hand, people who have a fuller figure often get called fat. I mean, even if a person is overweight or obese, that doesn't give anyone right to criticize them for the way they look. We need to understand that criticizing others for the way they look is never alright. Never. We need to understand that you can't guess someone's health status just by looking at a person. A person's health status can be diagnosed, it can't be guessed and it can only be diagnosed by a specialist. We need to understand that 'being healthy' does not mean belonging to a certain body type. We need to understand that mental health is just as important as physical health. We need to understand that those two are often connected. It is wrong to body shame others. It is also wrong to body shame ourselves.

                               All drawings (in case you couldn't tell) are mine. Medium: markers on paper.

  INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

GOODREADS

LOOKBOOK

YOUTUBE