ponedjeljak, 27. veljače 2017.

For the love of food....Za ljubav prema hrani....


Whenever I don't feel like myself, I always eat something and I feel better right away. I sometimes joke about that, but I don't think it is such a bad thing. We have started to see food as an enemy. Food is a part of life, so why not enjoy it? For me food is (apart from something to be enjoyed) is a way to express my creativity. I love trying out new recipes and inventing new dishes. Generally speaking, preparing food puts me in a good mood. Eating that food has the same effect- as I already explained. Today I'm sharing some cakes that I prepared in this month of love. 

Love is a fascinating phenomenal isn't it? Often it takes all we got, but it makes us feel liberated and free. The right kind of love always enriches us. It gives us strength. Being bound to somebody actually sets our free. Why is that so? Perhaps because we're created to love. What do you think? I think that love never goes out of style. I believe that every month is a good month for love....every day is a good day to love....and every minute....and every second. You know me, I believe in fairy tales. Good food. Friends. Small pleasure. Precious moments. I believe in love.

Kad god nisam sva svoja, pojedem nešto i odmah se osjećam bolje. Često se šalim na račun toga, ali ne vidim to kao neku lošu stvar. Počeli smo gledati na hranu kao na neprijatelja. Hrana je dio života, pa žašto ne bismo uživali u njoj? Za mene je hrana (osim nečega u čemu treba uživati) također i način izražavanja kreativnosti. Volim isprobavati nove recepte i smišljati nova jela. U pravilu, pripremanje hrane me oraspoloži. Jesti tu hranu jednako tako, kao što sam već objasnila. Danas sam pripremila mali pregled kolača koje sam pripremila u ovom mjesecu ljubavi. 

Ljubav je zanimljiv fenomen, zar ne? Često nam za nju treba sve što imamo, ali čini da se osjećamo oslobođenima i slobodnima. Prava ljubav nas uvijek obogaćuje. Daje nam snage. Biti vezan uz nekoga nas zapravo oslobođava. Zašto je tomu tako? Možda jer smo i stvoreni za ljubav. Što vi mislite? Ja mislim da ljubav nikada ne izlazi iz mode. Ja vjerujem da je svaki mjesec dobar mjesec za ljubav......i svaki dan....i svaka minita....i svaka sekunda. Znate mene...ja vjerujem u bajke..i dobru hranu. Prijatelje. Mala zadovoljstva. Dragocjene trenutke. Vjerujem u ljubav.










voćna salata

#fruitsalad



kolačić u obliku srca s grožđicama

modaodaradosti


modaodaradosti

modaodaradosti

#cakes



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How to wear a leather jacket in a feminine way? Kako nositi kožnu jaknu na ženstven način?


 EN Does it ever happen to you that you overthink things? I've been doing that a lot lately, so today I'm going to try to slow down my thinking process a bit. While I was trying to decide what painting ti post about today, an idea came to my mind- why not do a simple outfit post instead? For the record, I still enjoy outfit posts, it is just that something other thins take over. You don't seem to mind that my blog has taken a turn towards my personal art, so all is good. Today I'll show you an outfit that is my answer to the question: 'How to wear a leather jacket in a feminine way?'

However, let's get back to the topic of overthinking and worrying for a second. Why do we do it? Perhaps because it gives us a feeling that we're in control. Is it true? No, it's just an illusion. Overthinking doesn't solve anything. Often life just flies by and we realize that we didn't make the most out of what we had because we took it for granted. There is always something we can take advantage of to lift our spirits, something we can enjoy and feel grateful for. Be it a beautiful sunny day, a trusted book or a new opportunity of some sort. We should never take anything for granted. Every second is valuable. Every moment is unique. 

Simple pleasures. Wearing an outfit that feels right at that moment. Wearing something we like.  If there is such a thing as comfort food, there has to be such a thing as  comfort clothing. Don't we all have at least one comfort clothing item in our wardrobe? Vintage leather jacket. A green dress that I can never get tired of paired with a sweater that has been one of the most worn items in my closet this winter. A nice mix of styles. A pair of pink heels with a box (it doesn't get more feminine than that, right?) paired with a leather jacket that used to be my husbands. He wore it before I was born. Funny, ha? Time flies....and maybe that is not such a tragedy. At least we're not bored, right?

HR Dogodi li vas se ikad da previše razmišljate o svemu? Ja to stalno radim u zadnje vrijeme, tako da ću danas pokušati malo usporiti razmišljanje. Dok sam danas razmišljala o tome o kojoj slici pisati palo mi je nešto drugo na pamet....Zašto ne bih jednostavno objavila neku odjevnu kombinaciju? Da se zna, još uvijek uživam u njima, samo što ponekad neke druge stvari preuzumu, a i vama nije krivo što mi je blog odlutao u tom umjetničkom pravcu tako da sve štima. Danas ću vam pokazati kombinaciju koja je moj odgovor na pitanje: "Kako nositi kožnu jaknu na ženstven način?"

 No, natrag na temu brige i previše razmišljanja. Zašto to radimo? Možda jer tako imamo osjećaj da imamo kontrolu nad stvarima. Je li to istina? Naravno da ne. Pretjerano razmišljanje o nečem ne pomaže nam nimalo. Ponekad život proleti i mi shvatimo da nismo iz njega sve izvukli jer smo ga uzeli zdravo za gotovo. Uvijek postoji nešto što možemo iskoristiti da se oraspoložimo, nešto u čemu možemo uživati i na čemu možemo biti zahvalni pa bio to lijep sunčan dan, pouzdana knjiga ili nova prilika neke vrste.  Nikad ne smijemo uzeti ništa zdravo za gotovo. Svaka sekunda je dragocjena. Svaki trenutak je jedinstven.

Jednostavna zadovoljstva. Nošenje nečega što nam odgovara u tom trenutku. Nošenje nečega što volimo. Postoji li hrana za dušu, mora postajati i odjeća za dušu. Zar je svi nemamo zapravo, zar vi nemamo barem jedan odjevni komad koji nosimo za dušu? Vintage kožna jakna. Zelena haljina koja mi nikada ne dosadi nošena s džemperom koji je ove zime bio jedan od najviše nošenih predmeta u mom ormaru. Lijepi miks stilova. Par rozih visokih peta s mašnom (što može biti ženstvenije od toga, zar ne?) nošen s kožnom jaknom koja je bila muževa. On ju je nosio dok se još nisam ni rodila. Zanimljivo, zar ne? Vrijeme leti i možda to i nije takva tragedija. Barem nam nije dosadno, zar ne?


#fashionblog #leatherjacket #heels #greendress



#smile


#greenary

#layering #pink #pinkheels #greendress


oftdy







modaodaradosti











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nedjelja, 26. veljače 2017.

Fashion illustration of the day (The Scarlet Letter) / Modna ilustracija dana ( Grimizno slovo)


Today I'm sharing another fashion illustration with you. The medium is watercolour on paper. This one was actually inspired by one of my old outfit posts (here). In that post, I talked a bit about the book I was reading at that moment. Since I already discussed that book, today I wanted to take this opportunity to make another book recommendation. Just like my last literary recommendation, this one is a known classical of American literature. The Scarlet Letter was written by Nathaniel Hawthorne (who happens to be one of my favourite American writers). You can download this book for free here on project Gutenberg where it is available in different forms (kindle, etc.). When it comes to classics, you can always find them online, that is one of the advantages of the time we live in. Anyway, back on topic. This novel was published in 1850 and it is considered a masterpiece. It focuses on life of Hester Prynne, who after being condemned for adultery, manages to rebuild her life in an extremely puritan society/community. 

There is also a movie version of this book featuring Demi Moore. I kind of liked the movie, even if the movie version didn't really capture the spirit of the book. I watched the movie years prior to reading the book, but it didn't ruin it for me, because the novel actually has a different ending. The film itself has a happy ending that completely spoils the seriousness and the depth of this novel that is all about philosophical exploration of guilt, but I actually liked the acting in that film. I think Demi Moore did a pretty good job of capturing Hester's sensuality.  Unfortunately, the movie version didn't manage to capture neither the essence nor the sophistication of this book, which is about spiritual and individual growth. 

In the novel, Hester is portrayed as such a strong women and she becomes an inspiration for the reader (at least it was in my case). She manages to survive everything that life throws at her. In the movie, Hester needs a man to save her and that makes it a lot less interesting. The novel is all about its strong female protagonist and it focuses on her battle with both herself and the society. It is surprisingly modern for its time. In one way, I see it as a metaphor for a struggle between the artist and the society. Society is always both attracted and repelled by an artist. Repelled because artist's job is to challenge everything and because art of the best kind can be quite intense. At the same time, society is attracted to art because of that same intensity and beauty it posseses.





novel recommendation


here


modaodaradosti


With embroidery being so trendy this season, it is no wonder that Hester keeps invading my thoughts.  Hester, the heroine of this novel,  is an artist. An artist with the needle. After being excluded from the society, Hester lives a solitary life. Instead of becoming weakened by the harsh treatment she is subjected to, Hester grows stronger and manages not only to raise her daughter as a single mother but ensure a good life for her Pearl. Hester becomes known for her skill with the needle. In reality, Ester's embroidery becomes a form of art. I'm surprised that more critics didn't pick up on full significance of Ester's embroidery. Embroidery is a form of art. The kind of embroidery that Ester does certainly is. It is the only art form she has on her disposal. In her embroidery Hester finds realization of her sensuality and creative energies. There is passion in her work. That is why her embroidery becomes so popular. It is the only truly creative thing that exists in this puritan society. They don't have painting, they don't have higher education and learning, they don't have luxurious fashion. Embroidery is the one visual pleasure they have at their disposal (beside the nature itself). 

Paradoxically, once Hester doesn't need society anymore, society accepts her. Intuitively people feel her strength, and it comforts them. The story of Hester is a story of feminine courage. Of succeeding against all odds. Not everyone has the option of running away. Hester didn't have anywhere to go, but she managed to turned things into her advantage. That is perhaps what wisdom is about. Suffering the  blows of life and overcoming them, taking in the wrongs and turning them into something good. Too bad they had to make a film in which they turned it into a love story in which a heroine gets saved by a prince charming. You see, sometimes classics have more revolutionary ideas than modern film. This notion that a women can and should be enough for herself, but at the same time that by loving others she becomes something greater than herself. This idea that our individual growth is our first responsibility but that we don't need to forsake others for sake of it. That we can love, be hurt and rise about it. This idea that a woman can be fine on her own, but strong enough to love, strong enough that she can forgive and accept those who forsake her. You don't see this in modern films that often, do you? I tell you, The Scarlet Letter is quite an exceptional piece of writing. 


modaodaradosti

#fashionillustration #modaodaradosti

Have you read The Scarlet Letter? Would you like to? Have you seen the film?










subota, 25. veljače 2017.

Asymmetrical bob (hairstyle illustration) / Asimetrični bob (ilustracija frizure)


EN Besides illustrating clothes,  there is something else I enjoy illustrating and that something else would be- hairstyles. Why not? You know what they say. Hair is one of the first things people notice about us (apart from our faces). Women have a special bond with their hair. Perhaps they always have had. Most old European societies believed that female hair is magical, hence it was expected of a married women to bound her hair. Walking around with one's hair loose was something that simply wasn't done if you were an adult of feminine gender. Today we can wear whatever hairstyle we want. Or can we? Well, in our free time we can wear whatever hairstyle we want, but some work places have strict rules about grooming and allow only certain hairstyles. However, it is not like someone is going to accuse us of witchcraft if we let our hair loose. So, we're pretty much free to do what we want with our hair- in our free time at least.



HR Osim ilustriranja odjeće, volim ilustrirati i frizure. Zašto ne? Znate što kažu. Kosa je jedna od prvih stvari koje ljudi primijete na nama (osim našim lica). Žene imaju posebnu povezanost sa svojom kosom. Možda je uvijek bilo tako. Većina staroeuropskih društava vjerovala je da je ženska kosa čarobna, zato se očekivalo od udatih žena da svežu kosu. Hodati uokolo s puštenom kosom nije bilo uobičajeno i odrasle žene to jednostavno nisu činile. Danas možemo nositi bilo koju frizuru koju želimo. Je li doista tako? Pa djelomično jest. U slobodno vrijeme možemo nositi kakvu god frizuru želimo, ali neka radnja mjesta imaju stroga pravila o uređivanju i dopuštaju samo određene frizure. No, nije da će nas neko optužiti da smo vračare ako raspustimo kosu. Tako da doista imamo popriličnu slobodu oko toga što želimo napraviti sa svojom kosom- barem u slobodno vrijeme. 


#watercolour #modaodaradosti #hairstyle


 I've  always loved experimenting with hairstyles. You know what they say. If you can't change anything, change your hairstyle. There is another known saying and one goes something like this-  when a woman decides to change her hairstyle, she is about to change her life. That one isn't always true, because women change their hair a lot. It doesn't mean they change their life every time. Anyway, change of hairstyle can be so much fun. Moreover, change is healthy. Not that changing our hairstyle is the only thing that we should be thinking about. There are more important changes than that one. In addition, some women are quite happy with the hairstyle they have. Many iconic women (both in fashion world and out of it) were and are known for a certain hairstyle. So, there is nothing wrong in sticking with what works for you. As long as you're happy with it, that's all that matters. 


Uvijek sam voljela eksperimentirati s frizurama. Znate kako kažu. Ako ne možeš promijeniti ništa drugo, promijeni svoju frizuru. Ima još jedna poznata izreka koja kaže da se žena koja promijeni frizuru sprema promijeniti život. Ova nije uvijek istinita, ali promjena frizure može biti jako zabavna. Nadalje, promjena je zdrava. Ne da je promjena frizure jedino o čemu treba misliti. Ima puno važnijih promjena. Neke žene su i jako zadovoljne svojom frizurom. Brojne žene koje su prave ikone, u modnom svijetu i izvan njega, bile su i jesu poznate po određenoj frizuri. Tako da nema ništa loše u tome da se držimo onoga što za nas djeluje. Dok ste vi sretni s time, to je sve što je bitno.

#hairstyleillustration #illustratinghairstyles

#akvarel




The hairstyle that I decided to paint and share with you today is an asymmetrical bob with bangs. Do you like this hairstyle?  I do. Will I get it? I'm not so sure. I do feel like changing my hairstyle, but I want to keep the length of my hair. I might opt for bangs some time in the future. Anyhow, I do like this hairstyle but I'm not sure is it the right one for me. How do you like this watercolour painting? I'm still figuring out watercolours. In my last post, I've talked about the difficult part of painting. Some paintings are so frustrating. You work and work on them and you're never quite sure are you doing everything right.  Perhaps it could be said that there are difficult painting and easy ones. Some paintings just happen. With no plan. With almost no effort. This one was one of those paintings. In a way, it is not more than a sketch. It is way too simple. Still, I like it. 

Frizura koju sam danas odlučila naslikati i podijeliti sa vama je asimetrični bob sa šiškama? Kako vam se sviđa ova frizura? Meni je divna. Želim li ju? Nisam sigurna. Imam volje za promjenu frizure, ali želim zadržati dužinu kose. Možda se odlučim za šiške nekad u budućnosti. Svakako mi se ove frizura sviđa, samo nisam sigurna je li za mene. Kako vam se sviđa ovaj akvarel? Još uvijek učim slikati vodenim bojama. U zadnjoj objavi, govorila sam o težoj strani slikanja. Neke slike su frustrirajuće. Radite i radite na načemu i nikad niste sigurni jeste li sve dobro napravili. Možda se može reći da postoje teške i lake slike. Neke se slike jednostavno dogode. Bez plana. Skoro bez truda. Ovo je bila jedna od takvih. Na neki način, nije više od skice. Previše je jednostavna. Ipak, sviđa mi se. 



#modaodaradosti

#painting









Blue tears, red crown (painting of the day) / Plave suze, crvena kruna (slika dana)


Today I'm posting a relatively new painting. The medium is watercolour on cardboard. It is no revolutionary technique. It is just that when I use up all the paper in a sketchbook, I tend to paint on the covers that are made from- well cardboard.  The last painting I created in this way was this one. Besides it being practical ( I hate being wasteful), I like the cold grey tones of your typical cardboard. I plan to make a series of drawings on cardboard ( I love those done on grey paper with lots of white pencil on emphasis) but I have to find time first. Sometimes I find the whole painting process almost annoying. At times, it is very energy draining and frustrating. Are those rarely moments when I'm actually happy with something I made worth it? I'm not sure. I guess that time will tell. 

Are you surprised to read this? People usually have such romantic ideas about painting. The reality looks more like this: chronic back pain, neck pain, wrist pain and an emptier wallet. That is just from a prospective of  a hobby artist- and one that isn't very ambitious. I imagine that the sacrifices that a real artists has to do are a lot more serious. It's a whole different lifestyle. Years of work. Anyone can pick up a brush when they feel inspired. To choose to devote your life to art takes such fantastic courage that I can't help but admire artists. Artist of any kind. Be they painters, photographers, dancers, writer etc. I especially admire the unknown ones, those that just keep going, no matter what. I always thought of myself as someone who admires art, someone who is an art lover, but now I'm realizing that I love artists too. Not just art as an abstract thing, but people who make it as well. They never seemed more fascinating to me then they do now. It is always nice to find out something new about ourselves, isn't it?

How is your weekend going so far? I'm doing my best to catch up with blogging today. I was a bit absent for the last few days because I had to take care of some things in Split. While I was there,  I decided to make a quick stop on island Hvar. I was there only for a few hours because there are only two ferry lines a day, but I managed to visit my grandmother. Anyway, I'm really happy about being able to visit my grandmother. I know that doesn't seem to be the mood on my painting of the day, but I'm actually feeling pretty good. This painting is not intended to be depressive anyway. More melancholic. I made dozens of painting with this motif of blue tears and I will probably make a lot more. I'm trying to capture something, but I'm not sure exactly what. 

Danas sa vama dijelim relativno novu sliku. Medij su vodene boje na kartonu. Nije riječ o nikakvoj revolucionarnoj tehnici. Obično kada potrošim sve listove it mape za crtanje, slikam na samim koricama koje su od papira. Zadnja slika koju sam stvorila na ovaj način je bila ova.  Osim što je praktično (mrzim bacati stvari), sviđaju mi se hladnu sivi tonovi tipičnoga lista kartona. Planiram napraviti seriju crteža na kartonu (volim one na sivom papiru s puno bijele olovke za isticanje), ali prvo moram pronaći vremena. Ponekad mi cijeli proces slikanja pomalo ide na živce. Iziskuje toliko energije i frustracije. Jesu li ti rijetki trenuci kada sam zadovoljna s nečim što sam napravila vrijedni toga? Nisam sigurna. Valjda će vrijeme pokazati. 

Čudi li vas pročitati ovako nešto? Ljudi obično imaju romantične ideje o slikanju. Realnost izgleda više nešto kao ovo: kronični bol u vratu, leđima i zglobovima te prazniji novčanik. Sve to je potrebno za baviti se slikanjem samo iz hobija- i to iz perpektive nekoga tko i nije posebno ambiciozan. Žrtve koje pravi umjetnici poduzimaju su puno ozbiljnije, mogu zamisliti. To je cijeli stil života. Godine rada. Stvarno im se divim. Svatko može uzeti kist u ruke kada osjeti nadahnuće. Odlučiti posvetiti svoj život umjetnosti zahtjeva tako fanatičnu hrabrost da se ne mogu ne diviti umjetnicima. Umjetnicima svake vrste. Bili oni slikari, fotografi, plesači ili pisci itd. Posebno se divim onim nepoznatima, onima koji stalno idu naprijed, bez obzira na sve. Uvijek sam o sebi razmišljala kao o nekome tko se divi umjetnosti, nekome tko voli umjetnost, ali sada sam shvatila da volim i umjetnike. Ne samo umjetnost kao abstraktnu stvar, nego i ljude koji je prave. Nikada mi se nisu činili tako fascinantima kao sada. Uvijek je lijepo saznati nešto novo o sebi, zar ne?

Kako zasada izgleda vaš vikend? Ja se trudim nadoknaditi propušteno što se tiče čitanja bologova. Bila sam pomalo odsutna zadnjih par dana jer sam morala obaviti neke stvari u Splitu, a dok sam bila tamo, odlučila sam na brzinu svratiti na Hvar. Bila sam tamo samo par sati jer imaju samo dvije trajektne linije dnevno, ali uspjela sam posjetiti baku tako da sam vesela zbog toga. Znam da se to ne čini kao raspoloženje današnje slikem ali zapravo se osjećam poprilično dobro. Ova slika ionako ne bi trebala biti depresivna, više melankolična. Naslikala sam više od desetak ovakvih slika, a sigurno ću i više. Pokušavam nešto uhvatiti, a nisam ni sama sigurna što. 

modaradosti

#bluetears #watercolour #painting









utorak, 21. veljače 2017.

Inspired by....Lera

EN Time for another Inspired by feature. Today I illustrated Lera from lerablogs. The medium is watercolour and pencil. This time I decided to leave the pencil outline. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't even use the pencil the sketch, but rather apply the watercolour directly. 

How do you like this outfit? Isn't it dreamy? Isn't it so timeless? I was thinking about what I could illustrate next and then I remembered that it was a while since I illustrated Lera, so I browsed her blog and as soon as I saw this look I knew it is the one that I want to illustrate. So, here it is, my fashion illustration of the day. To put it more precisely- my fashion illustration of a fashion blogger. 

If you love fashion, you probably also love fashion illustrations. If you like fashion bloggers, you probably also like illustrations of fashion bloggers. Logically speaking, you should enjoy this one. Well, that would be all for today. Thank you for reading...and a very special thank you for all the comments you left on my last post. You are the best readers ever!!!

HR Vrijeme je za još jednu Nadahnuta s rubriku. Danas sam naslikala Leru s lerablogs. Medij su vodene boje i olovka. Ovaj put sam odlučila ostaviti obrub olovkom. Ponekad ga ostavim, ponekad ne. Ponekad i ne koristim olovku za skiciranje, nego direktno stavljam vodene boje na papir. 

Kako vam se sviđa ova kombinacija? Zar nije divna? Zar nije bezvremenska? Razmišljala sam o tome što bi mogla iduće ilustrirati i onda sam se sjetila da već dugo nisam ilustrirala Leru, pa sam malo pretražila njen blog i čim sam vidjela ovu kombinaciju znala sam da je to to. Tako da evo je, moja modna ilustracija dana ili da budem još preciznija- moja modna ilustracija modne blogerice dana.

Volite li modu, vjerojatno volite i modnu ilustraciju. Volite li modne blogere, vjerojatno volite i ilustracije modnih blogova. Logički gledano, trebalo bi vam se ovo svidjeti. Tako da, to bi bilo sve za danas. Hvala na čitanju...i velika hvala na svim komentarima koje ste mi ostavili na zadnjoj objavi. Vi ste najbolji!!!

#watercolour #fashionillustration




#modnailustracija










ponedjeljak, 20. veljače 2017.

The art of criticism and the search for true love


I don't want someone who will love my flaws. I want to be loved for what is best in me.


Lately I've come across a lot of quotes on the subject of flaws that I disliked. Most of them sound like this: 'If someone truly loves me, they will love my flaws.' I must say I don't get it. I don't. I don't want someone who will love my flaws. I don't want someone to accept all those things that are wrong with me. I want someone who will believe in me enough to consider me worth their time despite my flaws.  To think me worth their while- isn't that what we all want? To be liked by those we like. It is a natural human tendency. However, lately that has became insufficient. Now, there is a lot of talk about 'true' this and that and what 'true' love should be like. According to some, it should be free from any form of criticism. Well, that doesn't work for me. I don't need to be loved for my flaws and for the things I got wrong. Quite the opposite. I want to be loved for what is best in me, because that is the kind of love that will motivate me to do better.




I do understand why criticism is often viewed in a negative way. Often people find it easier to criticize others than to take care of their own problems and flaws. Sometimes the only purpose of criticism is to hurt another person. That kind of behaviour is obviously bad and counter-productive. In addition, this kind of criticism usually doesn't lead to up something constructive. However, there is also another form of criticism. That is the kind of criticism that comes from love. That comes from those who want us to achieve our true potential. That comes from belief that we're worth the effort of being criticized. That kind of criticism is worth gold. 

If you think about it, people often pay a lot of money for that kind of criticism. We hire experts to tell us what is wrong with our habits or behaviour all the time. We take an advice of nutritionists when we go on a diet, we hire a personal trainer when we want to improve our work out routine, we go on to see a doctor when we don't feel well and so on.  So, why is it so hard to take criticism from friends, family or the person we're in relationship with? Why do we always take it so personally? Because it is personal. Almost any word from any person we're really close with is by definition personal- that is why it is called a personal relationship as opposed to a business relationship or whatever. In this modern world, we have learned to fear intimacy and personal things because we don't want 'to bother with it'. But really, that is an answer of a weakling. 

If I have learned anything in my life, it could be summed up to this- personal relationships are worth investing time and energy in. They can teach us so much about ourselves and about others. Naturally, not all relationships are good ones. Sometimes we make mistakes. We have all seen those relationships that seem to bring out the worst in both partners. Not every relationships needs to be maintained at all costs.We should all learn to avoid toxic relationship, that is obvious, but we also shouldn't confuse  'feeling hurt' by someone's criticism with toxic or abusive behaviour. Sometimes we feel hurt because of our own issues. Often people expect their relationships to be completely problem free. I mean how realistic is that?

Nobody is perfect. Not even our human language is perfect. When I speak with a person who shares my mother tongue and even if we both share a particular idiom or  dialect, there are still bound to be misunderstandings. It happens. It is not a big deal. If you have studied, observed (or if you happen to like) the subject of linguistics, you have probably noticed that human languages are imperfect. Beautiful but imperfect. Often illogical. Often governed by principles that have nothing do with grammar but  more often than not that is what gives them its charm.  So, it is with life. You never get everything you want in that precise moment you want it. You can't make everyone happy. Why should you then expect that everyone should make you happy? 

I think it is dangerous to look ourselves as a finished product. We're all works in progress- or we are ought to be. We're not some product that is to be advertised and if you don't happen to like it, we should see them as the enemy. I can easily understand why people can find some things about myself annoying- perhaps even many things. To be frank, I find many things about myself annoying. I can even understand if someone considers me as a person -utterly irritating. I hope they won't, but really why should I expect everyone to like me? Even more importantly, why should I expect someone to like every single thing about me? I don't like everything about myself. That doesn't mean I hate myself. That just mean that I choose not to see everything about me as worth attention. 

Hopefully, I should be able to say: 'I'm not my flaws and I don't need to be defined by them'. At any rate, I hope there is something good about me that might overweight the bad. It's a form of optimism perhaps. It comes from belief in ourselves, belief that tells us we can be so much more. This need not to be loved for everything we are, but for everything we might be. So, feel free to dislike my flaws- either by ignoring them or by criticism them. I don't need anyone to love everything about me. Especially, when I don't happen to love everything about myself. Nobody can convince me that I should. Having a healthy relationship with ourselves, shouldn't imply a complete lack of self-critique. I will not pretend that I have mastered the art of criticism. However, I will say that I would like to and that I hope that I will get better with it in time. I don't think that criticism is bad as such. It is what we do with it that matters. Take for example, literary criticism. Its sole purpose it to praise literature. It might say this book is a lesser work of this author, but at its core it is about praising writers and art. It is about showing to us why writing is important. 

 The art of criticism for me basically means knowing how to enforce the good and reduce the bad. Every teacher does this. We criticize our students because we want them to do better. We criticize them because we care about them. We should be careful with our criticism, but we shouldn't denounce it entirely. Criticism can actually be healing. The right kind of criticism. But it is hard to tell them apart, isn't it? The good and the bad kind of criticism. It is so hard people would rather not bother with it. But we must bother. We must care. We must question. If we are to be human beings. If we are to be sentient creatures. If we are to be more than a sum of our instincts and biology. We must care. We must love. We must allow ourselves to be hurt.  It is the only way to live.